Giving up? No...

An ai image of me

Lately, I’ve been feeling really down, so down that I’ve been up, thinking, “Should I just give up? what am I even doing? Am I sure I’ve discovered my purpose?” or what?

It feels like everything I’ve been trying isn’t working out. The applications I’ve submitted aren’t yielding anything. Even some of the things I used to do, I’m no longer doing them, and it's not good

To be real, i've been wondering if I’m even on the right track.

Then yesterday, I got the worst news.

There’s this company I applied to some months ago and anytime I reached out to them, they will reassure me. They told me they had seen my persistence and the way I kept following up, and that those were some of the qualities they needed. So, somehow, I started believing I already had the job.

Funny me, I had already started hoping on it

It was a remote job, I had submitted everything they asked for. They had gone through my detail and everything was right.

Then yesterday, I got the rejection email.

I wanted to ask them, “Why did you keep reassuring me if this wasn’t going to work out?”

But as I was typing, I cried.

I cried because it wasn’t just about the job. It was everything that came with it, I badly need money. And naturally, my mind started going everywhere.

What am I going to do? where do I start from? do I start applying again?

Then one of my friends called me to check up on me that, it had been a while he heard from me

He asked about my wellbeing and why I'm sounding like that...

You know there are some friends you don’t need to explain anything to. They just know when you’re not okay

I told him what happened, and he said, “I know it’s hurting you and at times, it’s worth crying over but it’s not the end of the world.”

He reminded me that one rejection doesn’t define my ability, he then told me to ask why it didn’t work out, for me to learn from it and adjust to replan

Most importantly, he reminded me of who I am and how much I have to offer.

That conversation actually changed something in me.

Sometimes, when one person tells you “no,” you forget that there are still so many people and opportunities out there that can tell you “yes.”

Maybe this season is not about giving up, probably it is about staying and learning to find a better way.

I don’t have everything figured out yet, i'm still figuring out the process.

But yesterday taught me something, in that not every closed door means you should stop.

Sometimes, it simply means you need to plan, restrategize and find another door.

And honestly, that’s what I need to do right now.