THE BACKPACK NOBODY SEES __LOH 313

1️⃣ Does society expect women to be strong all the time even when they need support?

Yes. Every day, society expects women to be strong without checking up on them....

It starts small. When you are a small girl, they tell you, help your mother, don't complain, be a good girl. Then you grow. You become a wife, a mother, a worker. And suddenly you are supposed to carry everything. Children, husband, house, work, family problems. And still smile.

Look around any market in Onitsha or Lagos. You will see a woman with baby on her back, load on her head, phone ringing, customer shouting, and still she is trying to be polite to everyone. People see it as normal. But it is not normal, it is heavy.

I have a neighbour, Mama Chioma. Her husband is not always around. Four children. For years I watched her. Early morning she cooks, takes children to school, runs to her provision shop, comes back to cook again, helps with homework, washes at night..... She does not rest. One day she fainted inside her shop. They carried her to clinic. Doctor said it is stress, exhaustion, no blood, no rest.

You know what people told her after? "Mama Chioma, you have to be strong for your children."

Nobody said, "Mama Chioma, drop the load, let us help you." Nobody said, "close shop for one week and rest, we will watch your children."

That is how society is. They will clap for you when you suffer quietly. They will call you superwoman, strong woman. But that title is heavy. Once they call you strong, they think you don't need help.

Even machine needs servicing. Woman also needs help too!!!

2️⃣Can a woman be happy even if her life did not go the way she planned?

Yes, of course she can.

Mama Chioma told me her dream was to be a nurse. She loved white uniform. She wrote JAMB two times, no admission. She cried. She ended up opening small provision shop.

For long time she felt like failure. She said "my mates are nurses, I am just selling rice and oil."

But last year I saw different Mama Chioma. Her shop don big. She supplies drinks to schools. She has two small girls she is training.

Her life did not look like the nurse picture she had in her head.... It looks like provision shop, wrappers, calculator, and shouting "welcome o customer." But inside that same shop, she found joy, respect, and peace tooo.

Life does not always give us the road we drew when we were young.... Sometimes it gives another road. And if we look well, that other road can still be beautiful.

A woman can be happy even when life changed. She just needs to stop looking back at the old picture and start enjoying the new one she is living.

Women deserve to rest when they are tired. And they deserve to be happy even when life did not go as planned.

image source AI