The past regret that keeps whispering LOH #287
I have lived with this regret for quite long, it keeps ringing in my ear, it pains me in the heart. Quietly whispering "you would have done more for myself"
Last week i ran into an old friend at an eatery, looking at her she looks wealthy and really doing well for herself. Out of curiosity I was forced to ask what was the secret of her wealth and good looking.
There she reminded me of something from the past when we were still at home, while we were waiting for university admission. Then she had suggested that we both learn a skill or two while we waited. I remember at the time. She ended up learning auto mechanics. Now she owns her own garage, not just a garage a big company where she repairs cars and even buys and sells them.
When she first told me that idea then, it sounded fun, and I didn’t take it seriously. Honestly, I didn’t think being a mechanic was something a woman should do. So I didn’t buy the idea. A woman mechanic wasn't my thing, so I thought then.
Now I have come to live with regret and guilt. I wish I had learned a skill back then instead of just waiting around. After graduating from university, I haven’t found a good job. The ones I get don’t pay much. If I had learned a skill, it would have helped me a lot now, especially now in Nigeria where you need to know someone important to land a decent job.
Looking back now, I feel bad about the time I wasted. I had the chance and the time, but I did nothing with it. That regret has been following me ever since. I think I’m starting to accept it and forgive myself for where I am now. I’ve learned to live with that regret. But now I’m wondering is it too late to fix my mistake and start over? Can I forgive myself and my situation, and still rewrite this part of my story?
Staying in regret will not produce anything because it will still keep me in the past, and being guilty will encourage me to fix the past. As it is i can't change my past but i can use it to make an impact differently and also forgive myself and situation i am presently.
Its never too late to learn a skill, i will try to be useful to myself by learning a new skill it must not be mechanic but if am privilege to learn mechanic i will gladly look into it. I will as well make sure my kids learn one or two skills while they are still young and while waiting for an admission to the university or tertiary education.
When I feel regret and guilt, i will ask myself what impact have i made in my present that my future self will be proud of tomorrow. Forgiveness flows on its own each time or day i make a little progress, it must not be a big win, only doing so will truly make me enjoy life presently.
Thanks for stopping and reading my post. @amara24 loves you all ❤️🥰
Image is mine
