If My Pet Could Talk… I’d Be Canceled in 5 Minutes!

I'm just thinking about it now, if my pet could voice out, I had be finished. No, not ashemed but FINISHED. I am sure that furball TED Talk would be trending with different hashtags and you will see something like "My Survival Story: the truth behind my human"

The first thing you will see is that, 'hey everyone, my name is Everly and I live with a chronic liar. This my owner usually tell everyone that he is on a diet journey and he wants to get fit, but around 12 a.m. when everywhere is silent, he always speaks into the kitchen like a thief in the night to consume a bowl of eba or white rice and beans straight from the spot and sneak out again after washing the pots and plates like nothing has happened not knowing that I have been watching all his moves. No shame for him."

The after a brief 30 seconds silence, she'd continue, "And can you all imagine, about the money aspect? Come to think of it, have the sum of N5,000 left in his account, instead of going out and get me food, he will prefer to use the money to subscribe to his Netflix, sit down like king of termite and keep watching movies that he has seen over and over again like he is going to get an award for it. But I will just stay in my corner and be looking at him with a bombastic side eyes...well what can I do than to watch along with him."

Oh, I won't even leave this out. His cleaning routine? "For days now, my little mansion hasn't been cleaned not to talk of washing and this fresh human always forming and moving like a boss that he is stays online detesting mess and talking about cleanliness, what a joke on his side. I now use nose mask in my own mansion like it was COVID period."italic**

Then she nailed it more harder. "And also to that girl who goes by the name, Victoria, he doesn't just talk to you, I usually see his chats. I was physically, mentally looking at his messages with my left eye when he suddenly switched to another chat with another girl. Do even try asking me how I know this. I just know somehow I know.

And she ended he TED Talk by saying, "Frankly speaking, I think a new owner needs to claim me at this point. One who has sense. A new human who does not think waking up by 10 a.m. and laying his bed counts as a early morning routine."

And that would be how I'd be trying to amend my reputation after being disgraced in public like a thief trying to cover his shame.

So, dear readers, let's just be glad that our pets cannot speak out, or else some of these will result into court case last last. Cat

Thank for reading.

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