Marriage Fever and the Weight of Social Expectations

Marriage fever is something that's very common in our society; it didn't just start today or during the festive season. It has been around for every single day of the year, and if you happen to be single, you'll get to face it head-on at different points in time during the course of the year. I can say this because I've been there, and I know how annoying it can be to be pestered by different people who want you to get married and keep asking you when you'll do that, not caring if you have the means to go into such or not. For better understanding, I'll be sharing my experience of marriage fever with you below.

For years prior to when I got married a few weeks ago, I've faced countless questioning and scrutiny from different adults around me. When I said "from different adults," I meant it, because it doesn't only come from my parents; I also face this from my relatives like aunts and uncles. Aside from them, the same is the case at my place of work from colleagues and superiors, and when I visit my place of work, the same is the case from adults there, and it sometimes gets to a point where I'm tired of their questioning, but I can't do anything other than tell them not to worry, because it'll happen very soon.

On many occasions my parents have called me, both physically and via phone calls, to inquire about when I'll get married and also remind me that I'm not getting younger and should make haste while the sun shines. But all I told them is ok; there have also been cases when my colleagues and superiors at work would try to matchmake me with a lady, but I mostly just smile it off and not act on it. I even remembered at one point my friend's wife tried to connect me with her single female friend, and despite my efforts to not go ahead with it, she did, but I ultimately didn't even have a single conversation with the lady. I'm sure you'll be wondering why I'm turning down everyone while I'm still single.

The truth is that I had taken a stand to abstain from anything that has to do with relationships, not to talk of weddings, several years ago due to a painful heartbreak experience, and I felt it's not wise for me to move into another relationship while I'm yet to heal from the previous one. So that's why most of their marriage advice often falls on deaf ears then. But after I felt I'd healed, I never had anyone to tell me before I embarked on the journey of searching for love again before I ultimately got married.

But then overall I never let the fact that people around me, like my friends, juniors, or neighbors, are getting married make me feel bad or lonely or that I've been left behind, because I know the reason behind my decision, and that's why I was able to attend those weddings all excited for my friends and not be wary that I'm still single or not in a relationship.

All photos are mine.