The Hidden Pain Behind My Smile.

Good day, people of Hive! Welcome to my blog. Today's topic is from Scifi Multiverse which says: The Hidden Cost of Pretending to Be Okay. So let's dive in.

Honestly, when I saw this topic, it really touched me because a lot of us are used to pretending that we are okay, even when deep down we know we are not. We smile, laugh with people or friends, hang out with friends, and act like everything is okay. Meanwhile, there are many things going on inside our minds that we do not talk about.

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I think the last time I was truly honest about how I felt was when I got overwhelmed with different things happening around me. School stress, project stress, thinking about the future, life after school, personal worries, etc. became too much for me sometimes. Instead of admitting that I was not okay and that I'm tired, I kept saying I was fine because I did not want people to see me as weak or like I was complaining too much.

One thing I have noticed is that pretending to be okay may look like strength on the outside, but it drains us quietly. We keep trying to hold ourselves together while our minds keep carrying the weight little by little. The only person that truly knows me and how I'm feeling is my brother. Though I have friends I tell things to, I only tell them what I feel they need to know, not letting them know all of me so they won't see me as a weak person or think I'm complaining too much.

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Truth is, I'm really scared of life after school. Sometimes I will just sit and start thinking about what my life will be like after finishing school and NYSC. I also feel that when we constantly hide our real feelings, it creates distance between us and the people around us. Some people only know the version of us that always smiles, not the one silently struggling.

I have a guy friend who once told me during our chat that ever since he met me, he has never seen me sad or angry. He said I'm always smiling or laughing and asked what always gives me that much joy because he doesn't think I have things to worry about. I just smiled at him, but deep inside me, I told myself, only if I could open my wounds for him to see, then he would know that I'm just pretending that everything is good. Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm not facing a lot. I'm just used to pretending.

In conclusion, we smile to hide our pain and the things troubling us, but that doesn't mean we are not facing a lot. I know I should always share my pain, but I keep telling myself that if those people are no longer in my life, won't I still live my life? Of course, I will. But that doesn't mean I should keep everything to myself. Like people always say, a problem shared is half solved.

This is my entry for the Scifi Multiverse Prompt Week 66 Edition 02.

Thanks for reading💞💞💞💞💞.

Images are mine.