My Biggest Regret: My Story With Procrastination.

If you had ask me this question some years back, I would have just laugh it off. Now, I know better, I have not just heard but seen the damage procrastination can do to one. It can disrupt ones peace, identity, relationships and all. And when procrastination comes, we hardly realize, either we shove it off as nothing and all, but when its set to leave, it do take valuables along.

I grew up in a society that’s always in a hurry, even with that, we are still late. We hear of things, opportunities and be like" I will make sure to do it tomorrow",and when that tomorrow we don't know yet, tomorrow may not have space for those things we refuse to do today. We kept saying tomorrow, tomorrow and that tomorrow nevwr really comes, not until we realize what procrastination has cost UA, and by then, its late to even do it today.

My first big break got hindered cause of procrastinating, I was in my final year of school when I stumbled on an opportunity that could’ve changed my life. It was a writing contest, it came with opportunities, cash, mentorship and also a free publication and marketing of your whatever work. It was something I really wanted, it has everything to make me who I really want to be. The deadline was one month away. I told myself, there's time, so I began doing other things. I am the kind of person who does not really sit to rack my brain of ideas, I just need to have my phone, get to my note app and start writing, ideas flows freely, it might not add up though, I would just write them and rewrite it all later, sometimes I might be doing other stuffs and ideas would just be coming, then I just write down, on this particular one, ideas came, it flows freely, but I didn't out them down immediately, I just kept them on a part of my brain.

I was waiting for the perfect time to pour it all down, but that time never came, when it came it was just a day to go, that's when the reality dawn on me. Theres no time to even try my best, this day already has enough to get me busy, how do I do this, I am not even calm, I can't even try my best. That was how the opportunity came and went, just like that, no second chance or grace period. I sat on my bed, staring at the ceiling, my heart was heavy. It wasn’t just the contest I lost, I lost trust in myself. I doubted if I really had what it takes to succeed. When I saw the winner’s name, it felt like a slap to my chest, not because they didn’t deserve it, but because I knew I could at least have tried too.

And, that’s what procrastination does, it robs one off of the chance to even know what one capable of. Procrastination is not just laziness, sometimes it’s fear in disguise...fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, fear of starting and not finishing, so we just delay. We convince ourselves that we are waiting for inspiration or the perfect time, but deep down, we’re just scared, and it becomes an habit.

At 30, one is still struck in the ideas of 18 and 20 years. You watch others rise while you remain stuck, not because you don't have ideas or you not talented, but because you didn’t move. I really wish I could tell you I’ve overcome it completely, but I haven’t. The thing is just that, now, I fight it differently. I make sure to act no matter how little, that's better than not trying to at all, also, even if am scared, I still start, even if am afraid I still try to show up, even if it's trash, I still write. Waiting hasn’t helped me, its not as if am waiting on GOD😁, so, if anything, it has kept me on pause while life just go on.

Procrastination has cost me a lot....dreams, chances and all, it has even cost me a version of me that I might never meet nor see again. Each time you procrastinate you lose a part of what you prayed for. If you are reading this, I hope you don’t keep postponing your greatness. Start now, act now, make a move...now.

All pictures are mine.

Thanks for stopping by.

There are various entries organized by @leogrowth.
This post is in collaboration with the @scifimultiverse community and an entry to day 4 of #aprilinleo in #inleo,I am inviting you to also check it out,so as to partake in various interesting writing prompts.

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