When Anger Takes Over: A Lesson in self-control.

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One thing I’ve come to realize about myself is that I can get angry easily, but I never just get angry for no reason. There’s always something that triggers it, something that pushes me beyond my limit. I try to stay calm most times, but when someone crosses the line, it becomes hard for me to just let it slide.

A perfect example of a time I lost my temper happened about two weeks ago in class. Our lecturer told us that we would have an assignment, but not just any regular assignment—it was a group presentation, and it would be recorded as our Continuous Assessment (C.A) test, which carried 30 marks. Since we were only 13 in the class, he divided us into four groups. One of the groups ended up having four people, but in my group, we were just three—me, a boy, and a girl.

Now, this particular boy in my group is someone I’ve always known to be unserious. He never takes anything seriously, always making jokes even when it’s not necessary. So the moment we were placed in the same group, I was already worried because I don't even know how i would cope with him. But as if that wasn’t bad enough, the next thing that came out of his mouth in front of the whole class made my blood boil.

He suddenly said loudly, “Help me, Juwon dey my group,” implying that i wouldn't even contribute much to the group. He said it like a joke, but it was far from funny to me. I was shocked because I didn’t even know what warranted such a statement. First of all, I’m academically better than him, so where did that even come from? The fact that he just opened his mouth and started yapping nonsense annoyed me, but what really pained me the most was how he was laughing while I was trying to talk to him. It was like he didn’t even care how I felt about it.

At that moment, I couldn’t just let it slide. I immediately fired back in front of everyone. I said a lot of mean things to him, things I probably wouldn’t have said if I wasn’t so angry. His close friend, who was in another group, tried to put himself into the conversation as if he wanted to defend him, and I lashed out at him too. I was already at my breaking point, and I could feel my whole body shaking.

Now, I know myself very well—whenever I get to that point where I start shaking, it means my anger is reaching a dangerous level, and if I don’t leave the situation, I could end up throwing punches. That’s one thing I always try to avoid because, at the end of the day, fighting won’t solve anything; it will only make things worse. So instead of letting things escalate further, I just walked out of the class and went straight to my hostel to calm myself down.

That’s one of the ways I manage my anger—removing myself from the situation before things get out of control. Another thing I do is stay quiet, especially when I know I’m the one who started the issue. I try not to say anything in the heat of the moment because I know that if I talk when I’m angry, I might say things I will regret later. Instead, I give myself time to think, and when I’ve cooled down, I express myself properly and, if necessary, apologize for my actions.

Looking back at that incident, I wouldn’t say I regret standing up for myself because what he said was uncalled for. But I do regret some of the harsh words I used, especially towards his friend who wasn’t really involved. I realize now that I could have handled it differently, maybe just ignored him and let my actions speak for me in the presentation. But in that moment, anger took over, and I reacted before thinking things through.

This experience taught me a valuable lesson—it’s not every battle that deserves a reaction. Sometimes, the best response is silence and proving yourself through actions rather than words.

Thanks for reading.

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