it's okay not to be okay

Humans have emotions that they go through in various kinds of situations, and they have their own difficulties. Most humans try to show their best side to people and hide their weak side. Some people think that such a thing makes them look cool, and some people don’t show it to others because they may be criticized by others, and the chances of that are also quite high. So, it’s understandable to hide the weak side and pretend to be okay. But it also has negative consequences.

picture generated by rafiki

Pretending to be ok in all kinds of situations is indeed cool, but maintaining it all the time is not so easy. One person needs to be emotionally very strong for it, and I think not everyone can do it. But still, people try to hold their ground as long as it’s possible and try not to reveal their weak side. Staying okay and pretending to be okay are two different things. If a person is emotionally strong and has the ability to tackle the situation without being affected by the situation, that is called staying okay, but if a person is showing that he is okay handling situations but inside he is broken and suffering, that is called pretending.

Humans are fragile, and in different kinds of situations they need emotional support from others. If they keep hiding their emotions during the time when they need the support of others badly, they suffer a lot because it’s necessary to have someone to understand their emotion without it being shared. If there is someone like that, it can be considered lucky. But most of the time, people are not good at understanding such a thing. Sometimes a few words from others can give motivation or a breakthrough from the difficult situation. But they keep hiding and naturally keep suffering inside. Others could help them, but they remain unaware of the situation, and in such a way they miss the help of people. Let me share an example of my friend.

I was disconnected from him for 3/4 years, and all of a sudden he called me and kept communicating with me through chat. I don’t know why he communicated with me at that time, but I think it was his good luck, and later he got heartbroken in love. Most of the time I used to mock him for various reasons from a friendly perspective, but when I heard the news, I could understand his situation. From my personal perspective, I don’t care about love relationships, but it doesn’t mean I won’t understand the situation of others. He had some other friends also, but he used to call me to share whatever came to his mind. Maybe it’s because I was a good listener or because my words gave him some comfort or courage, I don’t know.

He used to trust me a lot, and I think he still trusts me that much now, but there was a situation where he was thinking about suicide. I feel that suicide is the most ridiculous thing to do. I could guess the situation, and for me, it was hard to accompany him 24 hours. So I just told him to share the situation with his sister, who was born with him. In fact, I insisted that he share it with her because I expected he might do something wrong. His sister was also my classmate, as she also read at the same school as him. I rarely communicated with her even though we were classmates. On that day, I just knocked on her to keep him in check. It felt better to stay alert rather than feel sorry later. Hearing his situation, she also understood what to do, and he might have felt good to be able to share his pathetic story with one more person. What if he didn’t contact me or didn’t share his situation with me? He might have bottled up all his painful thoughts and might have chosen to commit suicide at the end. He shared with me, and I could help him a little, and that little help of mine saved his life. He later accepted that he had actually planned to commit suicide.

Whatever I shared is just an example from real life, but there are many more situations. Keeping emotions hidden is not actually a good thing for those who are not mentally strong. Sometimes it’s ok to show your flaws to others and let them know you need their support. You just need to make sure that you are sharing with the right person. That’s all.