When Availability Is Abused and Not Appreciated

A friend shared with me some days back about an incident where the person he always had his back failed him the one time he needed him. I could only feel his pain, and that of many who might have decided they won't have anyone's back again. Not to an extent, at least. It pains to be in such a state. Out of our care and concern for people we've come across in life, we would usually want to be available for them and have their back in major situations, if not almost every situation.

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Being available always could come with a price. And even having someone's back always. Well, we must say that's life, and we're humans. Nonetheless, it draws a big conversation on how far one can go in being always available and who consistently goes back and forth to come through for others. Especially when their availability is abused and their efforts to have people's back is met with a different reception when their own time comes. These situations have a way of derailing a person and almost any sense of kindness in them.

The fact that people can make themselves available for others whom they deem important and are willing to go the extra mile for says a lot about their intent to build a meaningful relationship and association. It's a problem of the other parties when they misuse and abuse such privileges because they were readily made available to them. I understand better when people have said that too much availability is a problem. Well, maybe not for the right person who cherishes you, acknowledges your efforts and reciprocates the same energy.

Anything otherwise or shy of the above-mentioned is an issue. No one wants to be treated like nobody, especially when they're always available and coming through for others. Unfortunately, many haven't learnt to protect their interests. It would have been the case with me as some long years back. At the same time, I want to really appreciate my not-so-big but wonderful friends and circle of individuals. I haven't been a victim of much of this treatment. Maybe because I also limited my level of involvement with people along the line.

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However, there was a time I was close to a friend of mine. I would go to his place and spend time. It was a time I liked to step out since I spent considerable time at home doing one thing or another. He would say he was coming to my place too but wouldn't. I would end up going to his again, and sometimes he wouldn't be around even after our arrangements. It continued for some time till I decided it wasn't happening. I limited going there and went only when necessary and when I wanted to.

With time, I saw my interests protected and my absence felt. It wasn't easy because it was mostly fun being around there. But then, at what expense shall such continue? I got involved with meaningful and important things, and it was easy to move away from the situation. Later on, it wasn't even about protecting my interests and values, I was being intentional about my time. This makes me realise; our much availability sometimes can be as a result of our failure to be intentional with life and our time. When we do, we might not really be that “available.”

Thank you for reading through!