Fill Your Cup First: A Lesson I Ignored

We don’t understand some stories until they become our own.

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Some years ago, I visited my cousin, and one of the pieces of advice she gave me was this:

“Make sure your cup is full before you take on other people’s responsibilities.”

She gave me several other valuable pieces of advice, but that particular one didn’t resonate with me. I kept asking myself, Why should I wait until I have it all before helping my family, friends, and those around me? It just didn’t sit well with me, so I ignored it.

About a decade later, fortune smiled on me a little. Looking back now, I realize that was exactly the moment my cousin’s advice would have been most useful.

I couldn’t bear the thought of enjoying life while the people I cared about were struggling, so I let them know I had something, and I started helping them. Helping them wasn’t a mistake; I believe it is something I should do.

The mistake was not setting boundaries.

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Over time, many of them became dependent on me. Gradually, my own progress slowed down. I carried the financial responsibilities of several people, and the resources I could have invested in growing myself were being used to solve other people’s problems.

I don’t regret helping them. What I regret is not building myself into a stronger position first. Had I listened to my cousin’s advice, I believe I would have been in a much better place today.

Another lesson life has taught me is this: there is no such thing as people not surviving without you. If you were gone today, the people you believe cannot survive without your help would eventually find a way to survive.

Love your family. Love your friends. Help people when you can.

But don’t pour from an empty cup.

Build yourself to a point where your cup is full, and others can benefit from the overflow. Because if you keep emptying your cup to fill everyone else’s, and one day you lose the source that fills your own, you may go down with it.

Sadly, while many people recover after falling, some never do.

Sometimes, the greatest gift you can give the people you love is first to build a life strong enough that your help can continue for years to come.

Just call me Burl.
I am a professional gamer, motivational speaker and a crypto enthusiast
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