My Greatest Fear To Shut Them

As a person and as Me, I have so many fears, some fears I have conquered and some which I can't say I have conquered.
I once feared death. I got scared to close my eyes to sleep, I got scared when yawning comes to my mouth, opening it wide that gives a sign of sleep coming over. I feared more whenever I could no longer control the way my eyes sees, the sharpness of my sight getting dim and dim, still I try hard not to sleep but unfortunately nature can't be cheated and until sleep takes me unaware and I get to wake up later, my worries stayed glued to my heart.

Have you ever lost someone so suddenly that it shocks you on how it happened and it became a trauma? If Yes, I know you understand how I felt and if No, it's a thing I can explain well enough but I don't pray you understand let alone experience it.

The trauma of the whole incident of losing that person unannounced and unprepared gets to replay in the head like it's just happening and refreshing. I received the call of my mum's death at midnight, a bit close to morning hour but since then, you wouldn't dare to wanna call me at midnight cos you doing that has raised my heartbeat and BP even without picking your call yet.

As someone who cherished to be called at midnight for her birthday (like first to call me you know) I intentionally prayed no one calls me, and a day my pastor momma called at almost 5am to pray with me, I almost had a heart attack hearing the ringtone. Why can't I put it in silence may be what you're thinking but in as much as I don't want to be called at midnight, I still feel like my family or siblings might need me most especially at that trying period.

I feared the sound of death even when I had been promised through the word of God that I shall live long on earth to proclaim the goodness of God but still I was still in fear to sleep because I just lost someone who could have lived longer because she was a shield of prayer to us all. Those became my thoughts which I began to nurse in my heart.

But then, I eventually started sleeping peacefully, with no fear of sleeping and not waking up and how was I able to do that? I faced the reality cos in as much as I don't want and I will never die young, death is inevitable. All I did was to pray for more strength to withstand the time of trials and protection of my life and family against untimely death and peace started setting in.

I may not have conquered death itself but I conquered it's fear cos my Lord has conquered them all. My journey is still far and long and I'm just starting the car engine without setting out yet. I am destined to live long and prosper and these remains my affirmations.

I'll be dropping my 🖊️ here on the Scifi Multiverse Prompt

Thanks for reading through 🤗

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