RE: Sam’s Hangout #109 - “COHABITATION OR COMMITMENT?”

My answer is a straight NO. For me, the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages. And I’m saying this from experience, not just theory.

There’s this guy that my sister was supposed to get married to; but he wanted them to cohabit and she said no. That “no” changed everything — attitude started, connection died, relationship ended. Although it wasn’t easy for her to move on but at the same time she was grateful, she didn’t loose anything and didn’t regret it either. Imagine after cohabiting and it didn’t work out Omo her healing process for long 😂

So my take is; if someone truly likes you, they like you. If someone wants to marry you, they’ll marry you. Cohabiting won’t fast-track it. And fearing “but what if I don’t know their real character?” won’t be solved by packing your bags into his house either. Let’s be real; people can pretend. For weeks, months, and even years as the case maybe. But pretence has an expiry date. You will see the real them with time. That’s why you need God. That’s why you need the Holy Spirit to discern. And if you don’t have that discerning spirit yet? You still have options. Visit your partner, spend a weekend, Do life together in small doses. Go out, have deep conversations, meet their friends, see how they act when they’re tired, hungry, or anything at all. Character shows up in moments, not just under one roof. Besides, some married couples live together and don’t talk. So cohabiting isn’t the magic key. You don’t have to move in to know someone.

Cohabiting kills motivation too. Motivation in the sense that, the guy especially won’t have that motivation to get married to you. You’ve given him the full package, so what’s the essence of rushing things? 😂 You’ll even loose yourself in the process. You would want to be a “pick-me” by default because you want to please him. As the guy, your finances will go down as well. Whether you’re a believer or not, you guys will have sex and even get tired to the point of sex not being sacred. And if you don’t get married, oh boy! You go too cry. You’ll even be sacred to enter a new relationship because of the hurt from the previous.

Although cohabiting has helped some people in their defense o; but my people, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

In conclusion;
For me, it’s a NO. I don’t encourage cohabiting. Scared of not knowing him? Spend intentional time together, not your entire life in his apartment. If it’s yours, it’ll be yours. No need to rehearse marriage to earn marriage.

Thank you 🤭❤️

Ps: for next hangout please tag me 🙂‍↕️