What I Got vs. What I Want: My Worst and Ideal Date Experiences

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To be honest, I haven't really had any proper date before. But there was this one time back in my second year at university that I could call a "small date," even though it turned out to be quite the disaster.

There was this girl I had been chatting with for a while. We vibed really well. Conversations with her flowed easily, and it felt like we understood each other. Eventually, I asked her if we could meet up. Her response threw me off a bit—she said she didn’t really like going out with guys. At the time, I didn’t read too much into it. I thought maybe she was just shy or had had bad experiences before. So I gently insisted, nothing forceful, just made her see that we could keep it simple and chill. After some convincing, she agreed, and we settled on meeting at a small restaurant within the school campus.

On that day, I made sure to look nice with one of best clothes. I got to the restaurant and to my surprise, she was already seated… but not alone. She came with a friend. I’m telling you, that moment felt like getting splashed with cold water. I was confused, shocked, and a bit embarrassed. I mean, it wasn’t supposed to be a group hangout. It was meant to be a chance for us to bond one-on-one, maybe talk more and understand each other better. But here I was, showing up to what now looked like a setup.

At that point, I was trying to stay calm, but deep down, I was already annoyed. I mean, if she didn’t want to go out, she could’ve just said no. But then i realized later that I should have taken her words more seriously when she said she doesn’t like going out with guys. That was probably her subtle way of saying she wasn’t interested like that. But you know how it is—we sometimes convince ourselves otherwise.

So, in the heat of the moment, partly out of annoyance and mostly out of shame, I just said, “I’m not getting anything for you o.” if you see the way they both looked at me? You’d think I said something way worse. It was that kind of look that made you want the ground to just open up and swallow you. I could feel how awkward the moment had become, and the tension was hanging in the air. I just had to leave before I embarrassed myself any further. And that was that. My worst date ever. Till this day, I still think about how differently I could’ve handled it, but well, lessons learned.

Now, when it comes to my ideal date, I don’t think it needs to be anything flashy or expensive. For me, a perfect date is about connection, conversation, and just enjoying each other's company. We could go to her favourite restaurant and have a decent meal, or better yet, do something sinple and enjoyable —like taking a walk, visiting a place like the park or the beach, or maybe sitting somewhere peaceful with drinks and just talking about life. All in all, i am not into loud places or anything that feels forced. As long as we can be ourselves, laugh genuinely, and learn about each other, that’s an ideal date for me.

Thanks for reading.

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