It Might Be Small to You, But It Means the World to Me.

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Honestly, one thing that gives me peace of mind right now — and I know might seem small to some people — is just having money that would be enough for me to eat both breakfast and dinner especially when I’m in school.

There’s this kind of calmness I feel when I wake up, and I know that if I’m hungry, I can just go out and buy food. I don’t have to stress, I don’t have to start thinking or calculating how I’ll survive the day. And for me, that peace is a big deal because I’ve experienced what it feels like to be broke and hungry at the same time.

There have been times when I’d wake up in the morning and immediately start thinking, “What am I going to eat today?” And not in the playful or casual way that people who have food ask that question. I mean thinking about it because I genuinely had nothing. No money, no food. Just hunger staring me in the face.

Sometimes, i would have to start calling people or ask friends for help. And if I’m being honest, that part alone is draining. The mental stress of trying to explain yourself or hope someone will understand what you are actually going through — it’s not easy. Most times, I end up not eating until afternoon, and even then, what I manage to get might not even fill me. It's just something small to help me quench the hunger, but not enough to actually make me feel okay.

And sometimes, that one unsatisfying meal would be the only thing i would eat throughout the whole day.

There were times I cried out of frustration because it was actually unbearable and not something i would want for myself. Hunger can literally make a person feel very useless. It weakens the body, mind, and even a person's confidence. You start getting angry for no reason. And it’s not like you’re wicked or something. You’re just frustrated.

So now that I’m in a better space — where I can actually afford to buy what i want for breakfast and dinner— I don’t take it for granted at all. It gives me serious peace of mind. Waking up and knowing that I can eat, that I don’t have to start begging or calling around, is a kind of peace that’s hard to explain.

It might look like nothing to someone who’s used to having money or who has never gone hungry before. But for me, it means I can go through my day without unnecessary stress. I can focus better, and i can think clearly.

At the end of the day, peace of mind for me, it’s just been able to get breakfast in the morning with ease and also dinner at night and not have to go to bed with a rumbling stomach. Right now, that’s one thing I’m genuinely grateful for.

Thanks for reading.

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