Redeeming Love

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Sometimes sometimes I sit and wonder how someone you loved so much like so so much just suddenly becomes a stranger, or you just realize that you stop loving the person.

How exactly does that happen, like how really does this even happen???

You see best friends today, and it seems like they are inseparable, only for years to go by, and then you will discover that those people who seemed inseparable at some point don't as much as speak to each other. It baffles me how these things really come to be.

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I remember having an uncle when I was much younger, at the time he had a girlfriend, thy were so in love, so we thought, it seemed as though they couldn't do without each other, wherever they went, they went together, they did stuff together, it felt as though they were joined that the hip, everyone thought they were going to get married, my family loved her and were even beginning to anticipate their union.

Next thing we hear is that they had broken up and were no longer together, my family tried to intercede, but neither was willing to reconsider, the funny thing was that we didn't even know what happened that led to the breakup, was it that they ran out of love, if that even happens, did one person commit a grave offence that was unacceptable by the other, we never got to know.

I think this scenario is even better; at least they weren't married, no other person had to suffer from their breakup other than the two of them. If they had been married, probably the separation or divorce would have taken a toll on their innocent children.

Marriage comes so many levels of responsibilities that most people who go into it aren't ready for, as they say marriage is the only institution where they give you a certificate before you even start.

You realize that you’ve fallen out of love with your new wife/husband a year after marriage. How do you react, and what's the next action for you?

Love doesn't function on it's own, it needs things to help grow and nature it, what happens most times is that while dating, most couple nurture and grow their love, paying attention to things, but as soon as they get married, they feel like they have arrived, they have hit the jackpot and there is no reason to keep fueling or nurturing their love, and before you know it gradually but steadily it begins to die off, that's when you begin to hear phrases like fallen out of love, no longer in love etc.

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Love can be likened to a flower; they need as much care and nurturing as possible, if not, they slowly begin to wither away.

For me, the first thing I would do if I feel like I no longer love my partner that I once loved a year later, I will have a conversation with my partner, telling him how I feel, although it might not be worth so much at that time, but communication is the first step in the right direction.

I would advise that at this point, professional help is sought in the form of therapy, as it would go a long way in discovering or identifying the root cause of the issue at hand.

We would then proceed to list out some of the things we used to do to fuel our relationship. After listing them out, we would tick off the ones we still do and leave out the ones we have stopped doing. Then, with both parties being intentional about restoring the love in the marriage, try to start doing some of those things that were left open, rekindle the fire that was once visible to all.
While doing all of these, I would also tell my heavenly Father about all that is happening, and that he should restore the love in my marriage.

This might work for some people, it might not work for others, but I think it's better that you did something than not doing anything at all and just letting everything go down the drain.

Thank you for stopping by, I hope and pray that any marriage that is going through a rough patch, that the love and passion in that marriage be restored