Shattering Self Doubt: How I Overcame My Fears and Found Love

For a very long time, I have held onto this mindset that I was never good for any lady. I always thought I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Watching my guys and peers find love and date lady's of their own choice. This self doubt was already suffocating me. And yes it did confirm my worst feat about myself.

But guess what? Everything changed during my second year in college. It was as if the world actually decided to regarding my self doubt. I very well remember the day I pick up courage to approach this very beautiful Igbo lady, she was actually a science student from the department of Bio/Chemistry while I was a Technical Student studying Electronic/Electronics Technology. This very lady was playing hard to get with one of my course mate, in my department Yagi was considered as one of the handsome guy and most social guy. But to my surprise the lady turned down Yagi😂.

I can vividly recall telling myself "what is the worst thing that could happen?" So, I then sermon courage from only God knows where. I walked to her and ask her out and to my surprise GRACE accepted me without thinking twice. I never expected to her kind of personality to accept a guy like me🥲, because my fashion style was like 2/10 but Yagi got it all. Suddenly questions starts dropping from my mind, "Hillel wait what just happened?" Why did she rejected Yagi who got everything and accepted a low class guy like you?

When me and Grace started talking, I asked why she turned down this guy from my department and accepted me, she just told me she was never interested on him, but for me she saw something in me that was why she accepted me.

That lady accepting me to be her boy was a turning point for me, it helped me breakout from myself doubt and it also made me to realise that I was very much capable of attracting someone unique. I remember how I started questioning myself for having this silly belief that I was never good for any lady and I was never going to find love.

Growing up I was bullied by lady's back in my primary one to primary three I believe that was where the fear of approaching a lady came from. I actually experienced rejection and bullying sha🥲.

But getting the courage to asked this very lady out in college really help me to step into the light. I started putting my focus on strength instead of my weakness. This whole experience helped me to develop a growth mindset, it also help me to learn and improve on myself.

Reflecting on this whole experience have made me realise that our belief about ourselves is often based on incomplete information or what we experienced in the past. We may by chance had negative experience in the past but it still doesn't defined our worth or potentials.