Should Society Determine Our Happiness?

What would you give to have a truly happy life?

I guess this is one question many people have been sitting in. Just like the saying in the movie Marry Me:

If you sit long in the question, the answer will find you

But for many of us we are haven't sat long enough in that question. Perhaps, we don't even have the patience to sit any longer.

But it doesn't erase the fact that we really want to be truly happy.

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Life is beautiful.
Every good and happy moment is a testament to that fact.
The joy in a lady's heart when she finally walks down the aisle with the love of her life.
The affection in a mother's heart when she holds her little one.
The pride on a father's shoulders when he returns home from work and his little ones come running out to greet him.
The happiness of a boy when he finally graduates from school, after all the stress.
The excitement in a girl's heart when she gets newly employed.
The laughter on the faces of friends when they are playing or gisting or having fun.

All these are testaments to the fact that life is a beautiful place.

But then most people are not truly happy. Especially the adults.
In spite of all the good things that happen in our lives, we still treat gratitude like trash. Why?

Society. The kind we live in.

Society tells us why to be happy. When to be happy. How to be happy. And even, what to be happy for.

Someone buys a Toyota Camry, and is happy about it. People look at him and say, “why is he happy? His mates are buying Benz.”
What?
A boy goes home with his report card from school to show his parents. With excitement he announces to his father, “Daddy I came second. I passed.” His father looked at him and asked, “who came first?”
“One girl in my class.”
The father said, “So you allow a girl to take the first position. How many heads does she have?”

And just like that, something dies in that child. He came second. That meant a lot to him. But he doesn't understand why his father is not proud. Society has conditioned his mind. As far as he is concerned, second position is not good enough. The boy has not done well.
So the boy grows up with that familiar feeling of “No matter what I do, I'll never be good enough.”

Whereas, the parents of the child who came third in class, threw a party to celebrate her. As far as they were concerned their daughter has made them proud.

Why are we not happy?

Because of the kind of society we live in. A society that is not truly happy for people.

Society says, and we follow.

We compare ourselves, and measure ourselves against ourselves in order to find meaning, and reasons to be happy with ourselves.

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Some people look at themselves and say, “I should have been born in the UK.”
Yes you should have, but you are not.
“I should have been light skinned instead of this.”
Yes, you should have, but you are not.
“I should have been taller than this.”
Yes, you should have, but you are not.

How many people have lost themselves by short changing themselves to become someone else?

None of us asked to be born. Yet, here we are. With a life, a family, a friend or friends, and a purpose to be grateful for. There is meaning to your life already. Life is given to us. Entrusted to us. And we are all accountable for this beautiful gift.

“You can't be Kant” so don't even bother.

But you can be a better person, a better version of YOU — everyday. You can grow. You can evolve. You can become. There is a chance for you if you dare to take up space.

You don't have to be someone else to be happy with yourself. You don't have to own the world to be happy with your life. You have your race, run it. You have your own time, follow it. You have your own blessing, enjoy it. You have your own life, live it.

You are still a work in progress, don't think you're finished.

The race is not to the swift.
The battle is not to the strong.
Bread is not to the wise.
Nor riches to men of understanding.
Nor yet favour to men of skill.
But time and chance happen to them all.
(I mean, that's what the Bible says. We can trust the Bible, right?)

This is your time, be waiting on it. Be wise with every single moment as best as you can. Your chance will come. Ho, it will. Then take it.

But along the way, be grateful. For life. For health. For family. For friends. For privileges. For everything. Don't worry over what you cannot. Do what you can, and be proud you did.

Let me end this with one of my favorite quotes by Martin Luther King Jnr.

If you cannot fly, run. If you cannot run, walk. If you cannot walk, crawl. But by all means, keep moving.

Keep moving. The journey is yours. The strength is yours. The pace is yours. The time is yours. The chance is yours. The choice is yours. Everything is yours.

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Happiness is yours!