My most failed subject in secondary school.

If I had to pick the one subject that gave me the most trouble throughout my secondary school years, without even thinking twice, I’d say mathematics. That subject was my biggest struggle. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't wrap my head around it. From JSS1 all the way to SS3, I never got an “A” in maths—not even once. It was the one subject I constantly failed, and it almost became a part of my identity in school.

It got so bad that my mum, who was completely fed up at some point, had to take matters into her own hands. She enrolled me in private lessons with my maths teacher, hoping that with extra attention, I would finally get a grip on the subject. To be honest, it did help to some extent—I managed to move from failing woefully to at least passing, but I still wasn’t what anyone would call a “brilliant” maths student. I was just surviving.

There’s one memory that has stuck with me vividly. It was during the first term of SS1. We had just finished our Continuous Assessment (C.A) test, and the maths teacher, instead of quietly handing back our scripts, decided to read everyone’s score out loud. One by one, he called names and announced their scores. My heart was already beating fast, and then he called my name and said "Juwon you got 0 out of 10.” Just like that. I felt like melting into the floor. I was so embarrassed that I didn’t even want to raise my head. At that moment, I wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

That term, I didn’t just fail maths—I flunked it badly. I think my final score was somewhere below 30%. It wasn’t just a “bad grade.” It was a disaster. Later on, I realized that my biggest issue wasn’t that I was completely incapable of doing maths. I think it was more about my mindset. I lacked confidence. I never really believed I could solve any question correctly, so I never even gave myself the chance to try. I was constantly doubting myself, and that fear kept holding me back.

Before every exam, I would panic. I’d start praying and hoping that somehow, by some miracle, I’d score at least a “C” or even a “D.” That was how low my expectations were. I wasn't aiming for the top—I was just trying to avoid another heartbreak.

Looking back, that experience with mathematics taught me more than just numbers—it taught me about perseverance and the power of self-belief. I’ve come to realize that struggling with something doesn’t mean you’re not smart; it just means you need a different approach or more time. These days, I try not to let fear or doubt stop me from trying. Whether it’s a new skill, a challenge, or something I don’t fully understand yet, I remind myself that growth takes patience—and it’s okay to fail as long as you keep learning.

Thanks for reading.