School Haze
With the start of school being right around the corner, I thought it might be fun to share a post in the #schooldays community started by @galenkp. While I work all summer, staff officially came back to the building this past Monday. Students start next Monday. It's crazy just how quickly the summer passed by.
Each year at the start of school employees are required to complete some online training. It's pretty much the same stuff every year, so if you have worked in the district for a while (like me) it becomes overly tedious. It's still good information, and while most folks complain about it, I recognize it is a necessary evil.
One of the components we need to complete is about bullying, and it's actually pretty interesting to see just how wrong people get it when it comes to bullying. These days it seems like everyone thinks any bad action against someone else is bullying and they are more than happy to scream it at the top of their lungs for attention. As you might imagine, there is a lot more to it than that.
Most specifically, for something to be considered bullying (according to the experts), it needs to consist of three elements. It needs to be repeated, intentional, and involve a power imbalance. As you can see, sometimes kids are just jerks. They say mean things, they do mean things, but unless it meets those three components, it's not bullying. It could easily meet the last two, but if it is just a one off case, it's not really bullying.
Which leads me to the real point of this post.
Going through this module always brings me back to my freshman year of high school. Believe it or not, I wasn't as cool as the Bozz you know here today. I was pretty shy, nerdy, awkward, and probably a bit pudgy (I guess that hasn't changed). I remember there was a group of kids who thought it would be fun to make my life hell.
Somehow they were able to get into my locker which honestly I should have went to the principal about right away. I would bring a sack lunch from home each day and they would go through my lunch bag taking the stuff they wanted for themselves and ruining the rest of the stuff they didn't want.
They would also spray things like skunk spray in my locker making it all together nasty to access my locker in general. I let my parents know of course, but there wasn't much they could do. My dad didn't seem to be opposed to me trying to fight back, but he warned me I would need to suffer the consequences if I got in trouble for fighting.
Honestly, fighting back was never really an option as I knew it was a power imbalance. There were three of them and one of me. They were much bigger than me and they were pretty blatant about their ability to shove me around. It was like a hockey match anytime they would see me in the hall, body checking me into the lockers.
I had friends of course, but you know how it was back then, everyone just kind of turned a blind eye to it. Plus like I said, it was my first year of high school. I was at the bottom of the bin, had this happened when I was a senior it would have been a whole different story.
Finally, one day, I got smart. There was a group of older kids that used to sit together at lunch. I wouldn't say they were popular, but they were maybe fringe popular. As 10th graders they still weren't at the top of the ladder as far as high school goes, but they had enough respect that people didn't really mess with them.
Looking back, I know I was just a amusement for them. Was I really their friend? Probably not, but I was good for an occasional laugh and I didn't really get in the way, so they somehow allowed me to hang out with them. It didn't take long before they became aware of the situation I was in. I don't remember ever asking them, and they never explicitly said anything, but after a few weeks of hanging out with them my locker issues suddenly disappeared.
Funny how that works right?
For the most part the rest of my high school career was pretty great. I made some good memories and had some good times with other friends. After my freshman year I didn't hang out with those other guys as much as I did before, but they were still always friendly to me.
It's funny because I am actually friends on Facebook with one or two of the guys who were my bullies back then. They seem to be very involved in their church and I sometimes wonder if they remember any of that and how they feel about it now.
Ultimately, I don't really care, I don't hold a grudge, it's still sad to think I had to go through that, but in the end, I used my head, overcame the obstacle and came out on the other side better for it.
My Sports Account - @bozz.sports
Kids can be I pretty nasty back when we were young and still today
I was a bit of a runt I guess so easily picked on first year in high school
But got lucky and made it into the school first 15 rugby team and was pretty good and then things settled down no one wanted the big team members after them lol
!pimp
I wish I had played more sports back then. I think it would have made a difference for sure.
I was small for my age at the time, but fast and a bit crazy with training thats when I got into the habit which i cannot break even now of getting up around 4 AM and going for a bike ride/swim and run for two hours before heading home for breakfast and off to school
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Sorry to hear you had to go through that. I had my share of that too, more so in middle school. I was stick-thin, had thick glasses, and got good grades so I was an easy target. I've discovered most of the kids who bullied back then didn't have the best home life. Listening to my younger nieces and nephews, even though were more aware of it now it sounds like bullying still goes on today. I think it some ways it's worse for the girls.
Yeah, I would imagine it is worse for girls for sure. I think some of the kids had decent home lives but they were more of the tagalongs, not the actual person instigating the bullying. If I had to guess anyway. Kids can be real jerks sometimes!
You have a kind and friendly heart. Your account of the events of your first year of high school is very spontaneous and reflects your kind personality. My regards to you.
As for bullying, it's a problem. Bullies often choose calm and kind people because they know they can overpower them and there will be no response. This is due to a psychological disorder on the part of the bully, who wants to fill a void by controlling the weak.
Life is definitely a complex thing to navigate! Thanks for stopping by!
Kids can be really cruel and school can be like hell for some. I had some issues, but nothing too dramatic. As one of the nerds I was likely to get picked on.
Yeah, it's even worse these days. I can't even imagine!
Be in the right circle and most of your problems will be gone, hehe.
!PIMP
Indeed!
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:u37t33dyaufvrqujwmvm54ln/post/3lwvuhps4xs2a
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:u37t33dyaufvrqujwmvm54ln/post/3lwvuhps4xs2a
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That was a really powerful story—thanks for sharing it. I like how you tied the training lesson to your own high school experience. It’s a great reminder that bullying is more complex than people think, and also that sometimes finding the right allies can make all the difference. Glad you came out stronger on the other side.
I'd like to think I did yes. Thank you! It felt hopeless at the time though.
Kids being kids, many bully others because they think it's fun and maybe they think it they don't do it, they might end up on the recieving end.
It'd be so funny if the kids of your Facebook friends are being bullied nowadays, that would be Karma 😀
Yeah, I honestly wouldn't wish that on anyone though.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, and it's great you found a way to overcome the bullying. Really clever, and admirable coping skills.
I'm female, so maybe that's why I was never bullied, although I was very much an individual.I was bullied at home, though, by my older brothers. The way I coped with that was never to give in. No matter what they did to me (threw me off the side of a cliff once, although they did give me the option of grabbing a tree vine) I would go back and face them again.
When I became a teacher I made sure no one was ever bullied in my class, not even the subtle stuff, like laughing at an awkward comment by a vulnerable student. I once had a student who asked her therapist (it was a private school for adolescents with psychological issues) if she could take my class again because she felt safe there. That was the best compliment I ever received as a teacher.
I like this community. School..some of the worst days and best days in my life were in school, as a student.
That's great that you were able to give them an environment like that. Kids need it these days more than ever!
When I was a kid, my birthday was very near to the cutoff for the different grades, so I was one of the youngest in my grade, which also meant I was one of the smallest. It didn't help that I was also a bit of a nerd (still am a bit haha), but the result was that I also had to endure some years of bullying. That bit about people turning a blind eye really resonated with memories I had of "friends" not being there when I really needed them. At the time, it really hurts to go through it, but luckily I learned to stand up for myself and was able to shake it off before high school. These are the kind of hard lessons in life that I think can help you to adapt, and become a more resilient person.
I'm glad you were able to overcome all of that. It sounds like it was a rough time for you.