The Bitter Taste of Disappointment: My Experience Recently

Have you ever experienced a situation where you told someone to do something for you but turned out they disappointed you? How do you feel? Frustrated. Angry. Regretful. Yes, I felt the same last week when I was so disappointed in a colleague at work and it hurt me so deeply. I thought I had given a job to someone who could do it perfectly, not knowing I made a big mistake telling him to help me. The worst part was how I did the same thing perfectly for him and I couldn't get the same.

I learnt my lessons anyway that no matter what you do for someone, don't have a high expectation you get the same back because it doesn't always turn out good, you may be lucky on some days anyway.

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It was last week Tuesday when the students had their debate and quiz competition session which usually comes once a week which is Tuesdays. This lasts for an hour before they are allowed to go for a break. Before that day, we were given a task to do which was to give a speech to the students titled "How to Strive for Academic Performance"

This is something I always love doing which is to talk on stage, no matter how small the crowd is. I believe in a step-by-step thing. I was excited and went into practice to give my best. I knew I would be talking on that day as some other youth corpers were always running away from such a thing. I got home to practice my speech, jot down some tips and was ready for the day.

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When I got to school on Tuesday, I had asked a colleague to video me all through the time I would be talking and he accepted. He also told me to video him too which I gladly accepted.

When it was time for the session, everyone had gathered at the venue, both the students and some staff including the youth corpers. This colleague of mine was the first to give his speech and as said, I videoed him, covering all places and how he was speaking to the students. I have been doing videos so, I knew how to cover everything and made sure it came out well. I videoed for over 15 minutes of his speech and nothing was missing.

I finally took my turn. If only I had given to someone else. If only he had confessed to not knowing how to do it. He gladly accepted to help me thinking he would do the best. I had thought of making a post with the video on Hive.

My hopes were dashed to the ground when I noticed a few minutes of talking, he wasn't videoing me but I still composed myself with my speech as I didn't want that to distract me. I had the feeling I would be disappointed but just had to control my emotions in the presence of the students and staff watching me as I talk.

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Finally, I spoke for about 15 minutes and collected my phone to see how far it was. My instincts didn't fail me. I was disappointed truly. This guy didn't take a single video of me. He only took some random pictures that weren't clear at all. They were just blurry and I wondered how he could not take good pictures even if he didn't take any video. I felt unhappy and my mood changed instantly but I was careful not to let it show while still with the students.

Tears swelled up on my face but had to take them back as I wouldn't want to embarrass myself if they dropped down and people would wonder what happened. Seriously, it was like a sharp pain in my chest because I also wanted to show my performance to my siblings.

I approached him and made him know how disappointed I was and he started giving silly excuses of not knowing where to press and all sorts. I positioned the video camera and showed him where to click to start. He didn't need to find where it was as I already stationed the video, just for him to start the video once I began talking but he failed.

I learnt my lessons and would be careful next time, only if there would be a next time since I would be leaving and finishing my youth service in less than 3 weeks but it's still something I would be careful of next time.

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