What is the difference between confidence and arrogance?

credit: Photo by Andrea Piacquadio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/shallow-focus-photography-of-man-wearing-eyeglasses-837306/

I get asked what is the difference between confidence and arrogance on Quora SO much.

If you didn’t know I am a top contributor over there with over a million views. It means that I get asked a lot of questions by people and usually if I am good at answering the questions, or people like my responses then I get asked even more. It’s sort of like a compounding effect.

Anyway, the difference between confidence and arrogance is quite a complex answer and it has always baffled me as to how these are often roped in together. Arrogance and confidence are two entirely different mindsets. Having the right mindset can be a tricky road to navigate.

What is confidence?

Credit: Photo by Andres Ayrton: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-and-happy-woman-greeting-each-other-with-fist-bump-6551298/

Confidence is the ability to trust yourself to be good at something, whatever that something is. There’s a great deal of trust in yourself to have the ability to accomplish whatever the task may be. If I was to ask a lady on a date then I may have the trust in myself to go up and do this without appearing like an idiot.

It’s also being comfortable in how you appear to others. A confident man approaching a lady me be comfortable in how he is seen by others, even if there is laughter. Someone that has done this many times before will also know that it is quite a difficult thing to do and the laughter is mainly out of discomfort.

Knowing that you are human too and make mistakes is part of the whole process and is a great way of deciphering what is the difference between confidence and arrogance. A man approaching a lady may also understand that it is probable that he is going to get rejected, and you know, that is part of life, making mistakes and honing the process down to making it a fine art. Men that coach other men into approaching and dating women weren’t suddenly born with the ability to converse and approach women and be confident, it’s a process they’ve mastered through many trials and failures.

Knowing when you are out of your depth is also a good sign of a confident man. Someone that knows himself and understands his positive traits as well as his flaws will also know when he is somewhere that is completely unknown to him and even pretending to understand the situation he is in would make him seem ridiculous. A confident man knows when to ask for help. He also knows the meaning of better together when solving larger problems.

Confidence is an all rounder, it’s knowing that you trust yourself in the areas you are in, and to ask for help and not be shy about it in the areas you lack in.

What is arrogance?

Arrogance on the other hand is something completely different. You can be confident and arrogant at the same time. Remember the lady we approached in the last scenario? Well, you might have the confidence to approach her but also have the arrogance to also think that there is no way she’ll refuse you. After all, you are top dog. She should be lucky to get an approach from you.

What is the difference between confidence and arrogance? If you’re arrogant you’ll think you know it all, and everything you do is right.

It’s the same in the workplace. You can be confident that you can complete the work on time but arrogant in the sense that no-one can complete it like you can so only you should really be tasked to do so.

Arrogance can completely exist on its own too. I’ve seen unconfident people be arrogant. These are usually the people that would whisper in their co-workers ears about something that they are unhappy with. Putting the world to right but not lifting a finger to do anything about it.

An arrogant person thinks they can do everything anyone else can do, but better. It is an extension of a superiority complex which mostly can be boiled down to being unconfident and worried that the world will see the truth. It is a coping mechanism for areas in which we lack and are trying to divert attention from. It’s a way of saying don’t look at my ability to work with others, look how awesome I am with THIS!!

What is the difference between confidence and arrogance? If any?

Realistically confidence isn’t related to arrogance, it’s more so an extension of self-doubt and acts as a mask. Some people weren’t really taught as children that it’s okay to be unsure, and as a natural side effect it will manifest itself as arrogance.

A good explanation for this would be the dunning-kruger effect.

The dunning Kruger effect explains that the less that we know, the more arrogant and sure of ourselves that we are. As we learn and grow then we realise that subject matter is really quite in depth, varied, and vast. Even experts are worldly enough to know they don’t know everything, and are always trying to learn more. This is why you will see experts being not “completely sure.”

The world is objective but also subjective, remember that.

What is the difference between confidence and arrogance? In a nutshell confidence is knowing that you can do it, and you can do it well, but also knowing that you may need to ask for help if there is something you are unsure of. Arrogance is blindly knowing, not offering to hear other perspectives, because obviously you know more than everyone else.

You can be confident in everything that you know, but if you are unwilling to play with other ideas or suggestions in your mind before applying or discarding them, then you are arrogant too.

When confronted with differing perspectives a confident person would say,

“Really? I’ve never came across this before, I’d have to think about this more”

An arrogant person would say,

“Haha. You are an idiot. Imagine thinking this way. The answer is obviously, “x, y, and z””

I often like to think the world is objective, but also subjective too. Whatever happens is objective, but the way we experience and react to the stimuli around us is subjective. I at least try to hear as many takes as I can before coming to a conclusion!

That’s my take on What is the difference between confidence and arrogance, anyway.

posted on my blog a moment ago here: https://learnisart.com/what-is-the-difference-between-confidence-and-arrogance/