The Forgotten Generation of Men

Photo by Matheus Ferrero: https://www.pexels.com/photo/four-men-sitting-on-ground-1974927/

Ever wonder why Andrew Tate is a thing?

I mean, if he tried to seek notoriety when I was a young man he would have probably been laughed off the stage, booed, and probably spat on. There’s no way he would have garnered any credence back in the 80’s and the 90’s.

So why is he such a big figure now? What makes him and people like him so special when only 30 years ago we’d no pay them any notice?

I wish people would ask themselves these questions rather than going straight to the demonisation stage. It seems a lot of people are far too quick to judge rather than ask the crucial questions that matter — like what has gone wrong in so many men’s lives that they feel the need to follow someone that so obviously spends most of his days trolling people. Why also, men, knowing all the criminal charges laying in front of him would still defend him to the bitter end?

Now don’t get me wrong, this article isn’t here to scathe Andrew Tate and send him down into a ball of flames, no, nor is it a bitter last gasp dying defence of the man, in all honesty if you asked me, my care-o-meter for him rests firmly at 0, but what I will always ask myself is why this would happen. Why do these people arise and why do millions of men flock to them?

The answer is quite simple really, and one that’s rarely talked about, but men have abandoned their roles as leaders in the community. I for sure wasn’t raised with a father but I knew how to do manly stuff even if some of the jobs I was duty-bound to do sucked. Someone had to do them. Someone’s going to have to mow the lawn every week even if it’s a job that I hate.

My Grandad, when I was a little boy would take me into his “shed of wonders” where he’d show me how to work a fishing rod and teach me how to sharpen tools. He was definitely handy with his hands. He also used to take me out fishing and teach me how to take good care of the garden.

It wasn’t just Grandad though, when I was a young boy you would always see the older men act as the pillars of the community, protectors of sorts. I remember getting into trouble and being chased all the way down the hill by a random angry man in a bath towel because I was being an idiot at the time. It was fair game, and something you would never see now. There was always someone there to keep us in line, family, friends, or even just the men in the community.

Where did it go wrong? Why don’t we see this now? Why did we abdicate our born rights as the village elders?

It’s not biology that’s for sure. Young men still act differently in front of elder men who command respect. I’ve seen young lads change their lives around because they have been taken under the wing of an older sincere man in a sort of surrogate father-son bonding of sorts. It’s not an uncommon thing to see given the right circumstances.

The problem has many arms and feet and heads that grow back in place of other heads. It’s not something that you can shake a stick at and “tell off” and it’s definitely not something that’s going to get fixed overnight. But for the sake of a good article let’s examine this piece by piece.

Let’s start off with technology. Technology has advanced us immensely. We’re now at the tipping point of culture where the need for humans to produce will be a thing of the past. If you think about it we’ve reached the point in our lives that you cannot even trust what you see on a video screen because we now have the ability to be someone we’re not. I bet in 5-10 years at the very least we will see jobs being cut massively and only a portion of highly motivated and intelligent individuals will still be in work.

The less need for physical hard labour has been an ongoing situation for at least the last 200 years. We’ve seen the industrial revolution, the advancement of medicine, the information age, and now we’re entering the era of artificial intelligence. This has all been at a massive cost to manpower, and I dare say the wellbeing of men for the lack of a better phrase. It’s core to what we do, we are the producers of the world. I can sit in my office 24/7 and produce all day and be happy whereas my wife cannot.

Our livelihoods are slowly being stripped away from us and no-one is picking up the mantle and being the torch bearer for men, leading us on into the light. Not to worry though, we’re now being told that the world is fluffy and equal and everyone should just be happy and smile because everyone will get equal amounts. In essence, though, the world is more fiercely competitive and demanding than ever before.

I have stories of my Grandad finishing on Friday and walking into a new job on Monday, something that doesn’t happen now and you have to stand out in front of the thousands of other drones that have applied for the same job to earn a wage.

Our Politicians will tell you that there never has been a great time to be alive, which is somewhat true, our generation and the ones after us are the richest generations to ever walk the earth. There’s more money floating around than there ever has been ever.

We have free access to schooling and easy access to higher education, our kids don’t have to quit school and “go work on the farm” to help with the upkeep of the house. My Gran can remember working in a chocolate factory when she was 13 to help with upkeeping the house. Cars, phones, accessories, and bling for the house — all an internet click away.

Yet with all of the advancement I have to think about our core psychology and biology as men. No matter how you word it, or try to change the look of it, or put a nice suit on it, our thinking and way of being will always be the same always. We produce and that makes us happy. If I am not making something, or creating something, or doing something I get depressed.

Is it “better” that the disruptive kids (mostly boys) are kept in school until they are 18? Or would they serve more use in a job on something they would probably care way more about? Half the kids I went to school with would have killed to have a job somewhere than be stuck in a stuffy classroom learning education they couldn’t or never would give two fucks about in the future.

I’m not saying we send little Johnny out to earn the bacon when he’s 10 but there needs to be a good balance for boys that don’t quite fit in school and need an outlet for all that boundless energy that’s keeping them restless and disruptive in lessons. We all know those boys would be better served finding and doing something they actually cared about — even if it was going out into the workplace younger and earning money a little earlier.

Which neatly brings me onto men in the community and how we have essentially abandoned the idea of responsibility completely. It wasn’t long ago that I’d get a thick ear for being an idiot, something I’m not against because it curbs irresponsible and unruly behaviour in boys. Anyone knows you can’t act like that as an adult or you’ll get stomped on from the bigger adults.

Now sadly we have abandoned the idea of being the peacekeepers in our community because the risks are too great. Imagine the media spectacle that would be made of me telling off a random boy on the street for acting stupidly? I can see it now, the commentators all talking about how “Toxic Masculinity” is alive and kicking and that I am acting this way because perhaps I came from a broken home. Oh yes, they would do their research alright, but they would definitely neglect to mention why I was telling off the boy.

So now we don’t. I don’t. My friends don’t. Most of the men I’ve interacted don’t. They just let the kids run wild and put their feet up and think, “not my responsibility” and to be honest can you blame them? I wouldn’t.

When I was younger there was always a man around to show me their trade, or to try and give me some kind of advice on women. I was an awkward young boy, and being the autist that I so clearly am it took me a while to get people in general, let alone women. I didn’t actually have my first proper relationship with a woman until I was in my twenties and even then it was laboured. Social interaction was difficult.

But there were always men to feed from, take advice from, lean on. Like the happy old Uncle around the corner that’s always happy to give you some friendly advice on life in general. We used to take care of each other. A helpful community of men is super important for the young ones.

Now it seems we demonise the awkward men and send them off on their way to the dark corners of the internet to feed off each other, haunted by their experiences in school and cruel interactions with other not-so-friendly people. It’s no wonder that there’s a special place on the internet for the awkward and unsociable men that find it hard to interact with people in general let alone women.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen these places. I’ve went into these forums and nosed around at what they talk about and the crazy stuff that’s thought up by these men. It’s not a pretty sight, that’s for sure.

It made me think back to where I might of been were I born perhaps 20 years later and the world no longer gave a shit about me, demonised for being who I am, even although I wasn’t quite sure who I was yet.

When I was 20 there was help available and other men and women were compassionate towards the plight of a young strange man that can’t make sense out of the world. If it were now, you would probably find me trolling these forums and lashing out at the world because I don’t understand it, it doesn’t understand me, and no-one cares anymore. It wouldn’t be pretty.

Jordan Peterson tried. He was the “tidy your room” guy. 12 rules for life was his best selling book aimed at the men that felt like they were lost in a world that no longer cares about them. It’s a book that helps young men pull themselves up by the bootstraps and get their lives in order. He’s also all over the media and in and out some very public (and some not-so-public) arena’s trying to speak to men.

If I could pick a mentor it would have been him. A warm sincere man you could tell by the way he presents himself that is guided by strong morals and a will to do good.

But good old Mr Peterson lacks the Pizzaz of Andrew Tate. Jordan Peterson tells men the journey is hard. Recreating yourself into a better version of yourself takes time, effort, restructure and a bit of vision, whereas Andrew Tate comes along and tells everyone that it’s easy and all they need do is sign up to his hustler’s university. They’ll be rich and life will be easy! Which by the way is like anything that’s sold as easy to do — not worth it.

So now we have Andrew Tate as the next pseudo male guru with legions of men to do his bidding for him, fight for him, stand up for him, and hold him up to the sunlight as if the sun shines out of his arse.

Wouldn’t you think that? If you were a young man, confused, not sure what to do with your life, even less sure of who you are as a person, the media seems to shit on you all the time for no reason, as does the internet, and it seems as if you walk on eggshells everywhere you go? Clearly you lack male guidance — and then along comes a shiny guy who extends his hands out and is all like,

“Hey man, it’s okay, come follow me, I’ll guide you into the light, come right this way. Life is easy, look, I’ll show you”

He won’t be the last either. Until we start having a collective empathy for men again this problem will only get worse, and the men that surface as leaders out of the rubble will only be more vile and see Andrew Tate’s business model as a challenge to win over. It won’t be pretty.

I also have no answers either. I mean I’m doing my piece. I’m trying with this blog, the company that I keep and the people that I help. But until the media, the universities, and the Politicians collectively get rid of their hardons for demonizing men then I will always have no answers or a solution in mind.

I guess, if you want to make a difference start with yourself.

That’s the best way.

Posted from my blog: https://learnisart.com/the-forgotten-generation-of-men/