Hilarious Holiday Hijinks — Xmas Shopping With Precious

Hello, Hivers in the Comedy Open Mic Community! Happy New Year to all you funny folks!

So, I gotta ask, did you brave the Christmas shopping madness? And if you did, I'm dying to know just how much stuff you managed to snag. I get it though, times are tough, and maybe you're too mature to rock Christmas clothes.

But me? I'm still a baby when it comes to Christmas shopping. It's like a must-do for me. I mean, I've got a bunch of red clothes that I've never worn, but they just don't have that same magic if they weren't bought during Christmas.

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Now, about my Christmas shopping adventure last year. Me and my friend, Precious decided to ditch the fancy boutiques because, seriously, who has the money to pay for both clothes and shop rent?

Omor! We headed straight to the market where we knew the real shopping game was played. If a seller tried to stress us out too much, we just moved on to the next shop, like shopping warriors on a mission.

Alright, so the first shop we walked into was bursting with Christmas colors. I spotted this gorgeous dress and asked the woman for the price. She said,

"You've got great taste! That dress is $30."
Me and my friend couldn't help but let out a collective "Ahhh!" We were shocked!

I was like come on, lady, are you sure about that price? I don't even have $20 to spare for that dress.

I couldn't risk making her angry by offering a measly $7. So, I quickly told her to forget it. But then, my friend casually touched another piece of clothing and asked for the price. And guess what? The woman goes,

"$50!"
My friend and I just looked at each other like, "What in the world?!"

However, she was all pumped up to get that dress at a steal. She started off by offering the woman $35, but she was all like,

"Nuh-uh, my last price is $45!"
We tried to sweet-talk her, using all our persuasive skills, but it seemed like our words were falling on deaf ears. That's when we decided to pull out the big guns - the classic "walk away" trick!

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Omor! We put on a show! Slowly, I mean very slowly we made our way to the door, expecting the woman to call us back with a better offer. We even paused dramatically to see her reaction, but what do you know? She didn't say a peep. We stepped outside, still waiting for that magical call, but it never came.
But then, just when I thought all hope was lost, my friend, who just couldn't resist the dress, turned around and hit the woman with a bold question,

"Madam, how about $40?"

Guess what?
The woman agreed but with a little condition of adding $1. But my friend, being a savvy shopper, held her ground and refused to add that extra dollar.

And here's where it gets even more hilarious!

We made another attempt to leave, and what do you know? The woman suddenly changed her tune and called us back saying we could have the dress!
I was really expecting Precious to jump for joy, but instead, she smiled in the goofiest way and told the woman she only had $39.

Can you believe it?

The woman was either really desperate to make a sale or just plain confused and asked her to bring the money. But Precious said she needed to withdraw from the nearby ATM.

The woman tried to pack the dress in a bag, but Precious, with the utmost concern for the dress's well-being, disagreed.

"No o! Don't put it in the bag yet, wait till I come. I don't want it to get rumpled!"

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After waiting in the shop for what felt like forever and wondering where on earth Precious would get that kind of money from, I decided to look around and check out other shops. And guess what?
Just as I was strolling, I heard someone calling my name. Lo and behold, it was Precious! So I walked over to her, all curious and stuff.

"I thought you were going to withdraw some cash," I asked, and she burst into this contagious laughter that had me joining in too.

“How could you believe that I have the money to buy that dress?” she asked.

But hold on, the drama didn't stop there!

Just as we were about to leave, someone tapped Precious on the shoulder, and we turned around to see the clothes woman standing there.

The look on Precious's face was priceless like she was trying to hide her surprise but failing miserably.

"My friend, come and collect your dress," the woman says, and I couldn't help but use my kerchief to hide my face, 'cause I was about to burst into laughter.

"Oops, sorry I didn't come back to tell you, but I totally forgot that I left my bank card at home. The money in my opay wallet won't be enough to buy the dress."

The woman, bless her heart, really wanted to sell her dress, so she asked Precious how much she had at the moment. And guess what Precious says? She goes,

"Hmm, I'm only with $30?" And you won't believe the woman agreed. She goes

"No problem, let me just do Christmas for you!" We were in awe, girl!

To cut a long story short, Precious ends up buying the dress, but she still feels a tad bit guilty about the price. She said,

"Maybe I should have told her $20."

And you know what? I totally understood her Sometimes I feel the same way when a seller doesn't even argue about the price before selling it.

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That'll be all for today, thanks so much for your time.
Until we read again.

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