Am working on ... - QC Prompt #77
If there is one thing I am really trying to work on, it is trusting too much and having high expectations of people.
My heart has been broken several times by the people I loved and trusted the most, leaving me feeling the weight of disappointment, and I badly yearn to break free from this traumatizing cycle.
Most often than not, I have put my complete faith and trust in people, hoping for something good in return, and end up getting disappointed, and this has left a huge scar on my heart, leading to mistrust.
For some time now, I have been doing a lot of reading on how to work on myself to avoid falling victim again. I need to shield myself from the pain of betrayal and lower my expectations.
In one of the books I read, I discovered that it was not really trusting people that was the real issue, but having unrealistic expectations. I need to know that humans will always be humans and that no one is perfect. I need to accept some people the way they are and also have an enlarged heart for forgiveness when they fall short of my expectations. This is not only for them but also for my well-being and mental health.
So at the moment, it is not like I do not trust people at all; instead, I have lower expectations and am trying to be more reasonable and understanding, giving more room for grace and growth.
This way, I give them ample room to grow while enjoying the process of their growth and development. One vital thing people need is time—time to finish the process they are in and time to properly metamorphose. Another important thing people need is someone to be patient with them through the process of their growth. Not everyone out there is patient; most people want the finished product, but not everyone can be patient with you to attain total well-being.
THANK YOU FOR READING TO THE END 🤗
Hmm, trust is a very important virtue in any relationship. I refer to it as the pillar in a relationship. Just like a house without pillars will crumble, so also a relationship without trust will not go very far.
It's sad each time we invest trust in people and they end up breaking that trust. It's very difficult to regain lost trust and on this I can relate with you.
I like your strategy of giving people space and time for growth and also for lowering your expectations from people. This helps guard your heart and helping you move on without feeling resentment should anyone fall short of your expectations.
Perfectly said, I can't say it any better. Thank you for your beautiful comment as usual 😊
You're welcome
Woww I didn't know many of us had the same problem. But one thing I don't get. So, you lower your expectations and give them space to grow, which totally helps them, but how does that help you?
Like, how will you be able to trust them?
Lowering my expectations has helped me guard my heart from hurt, most times when people do something somewhere in my head am not surprised anymore. Am trying to have that mindset that people will always be people and you can't get everything you want from them. There are some friends at the moment that I can say to an extent I know what they are capable of doing, no surprises me anymore
Mmm ok let's see if I understood correctly. Let's say I expect people to give 100% to the things they do, so, are you telling me that I should lower my expectations and expect them to only give 70%?
And if that's true, that's where I have a lot of problems, because why would I settle for someone who only gives 70% if I can get someone who gives 100%?
I think lowering expectations is not for me 😂😂😂 or I'm not understanding it at all.
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