Chronicles of the Peculiar Roommates

After spending more than a decade with one thousand different people as roommates and seeing all manner of manifestations of the perplexing human behaviour, I bring to you a list of the different categories of roommates one can have.

• The Rhythimic Bunkie

Never would I have imagined that someone would be as talented as a drummer to make rhythms with a bunk. I shared a bunk with a person, and he was at the top. The bunk rested one of its sides on the anti-burglary bars of a window. When he's asleep, he makes weird movements every now and then that cause the bunk to slam the bars each time. The bunk was metal, so I suffered from unwanted drumming every night. I felt like tying him to the bunk many times.

• The Vigilante

For some reason, there are some people who are roommates that you would never see asleep. You could wake them up in the morning, and they are already up. Before going to bed at night, they are as active as a squirrel on caffeine. It would seem as though these people operate in different timezones, but no, you're practically in the same space as them. Their mysterious nocturnal activities would make you question if you're actually safe.

• The Culinary Wizard

If you don't care much about utensils and whatnot, you would probably consider sharing a room with this type of roommie to be second-degree torture. Someone like @george-dee will suffocate your life with the ancient and modern scents of aromatic dishes. Don't even think of getting into fights with such a roomie. Morning, afternoon, or night, it'll always be like the retuarant of a five-star hotel.

• The Phantom

A mysterious enigma—that's who this roommate is. You'd only see them when they needed to take a shower, and then POOF, they're gone! Until the next full moon is when you'll see them again—a time when they need something from the room or something. They have mastered the art of stealth. Even Sherlock may not be able to handle the sleuth. The Phatom is almost never seen around, but their belongings and once-in-a-while noises in the room serve as a reminder that they do indeed exist.

• The Eternal Borrower

These ones are the true definition of "we came with nothing, and so we leave with nothing." They have a knack for borrowing everything from clothes to books and food items. At some point, you'll begin to wonder if you are a parent or something. You might need to implement a solid borrowing policy or have your belongings vanish into thin air ever so often.

• The Customer Service Representative

The concept of remotely working isn't new. What one may not expect, however, is to have a roommate who is always on the phone 24/7, 365 days. When they were right beside you, they'd say something to catch your attention, only to learn that they were on yet another phone call.

What's more alarming is the absurdity of the sounds they make, and even more so that they are oblivious to the sounds. It is in the very space that you share with them that you'd think you heard a donkey laugh or a train accident happen. Come rain, come sun, come shower, come breakfast—they are the customer service representatives of the month.

• The Accurate Time Keepers

In school dormitories, especially, you would find this category of roommates. What they are best known for is setting alarms for every single activity in their lives. It really shouldn't bother one until the alarms they set at midnight go off and drive one up the wall.

What happens when you have more than one of these types of roommates is that there is a symphony of vibrations and computerised sounds to enjoy as lullabies every night.

Living with such diverse types of roomates provides some unique perspective on the myriad of personalties and behaviours that make up the human experience. It may all be funny until some of them step out of line, especially too often. But there's nothing a wall between both worlds wouldn't solve.