Leaving Or Dying; The Goodbyes We Aren't So Good At Doing

The ambience and the earthy omen i perceived upon my arrival made my breathe shuddered. How could i have done this to them?
Why is this happening to me at such crucial phase of my life?
Admittedly, my life hasn't been bed of roses still, i long desired to lie on the bed made of brier with my hubby who has done me no wrong than to love me ethereally and the lovely two kids the Heavens finally gifted me after years of waiting. So i thought, finally have seen the worst of my days and the remnant of my days are "Happily Ever After" not knowing there's more to see.

Adam! Please take this to the kitchen, I'll prepare that for dinner later in the evening. I finally snapped at my long line of thoughts.
Mordecai ! Oya you should take this bag to the room. Mind you! i don't wanna see any garbage on the floor ooo...
Can't you hear me and meanwhile why are you so glued to that your phone 'cos, you seems not to notice my presence ? I demanded from him.
Oooohooooooh mum! you just entered now now o,can't you at least rest? He rhetorically asked. The house is sha not going anywhere meaning, we can always clean it anytime. Sighed! I'm the one leaving,i replied inaudibly.

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you Mummy........
Happy birthday to you!
We wish you many happy returns on your day, long life and prosperity.
Is this real or am i still in my dreams?
I drowsily sat up as i incessantly used my hands to wipe my eyes so as to be sure of what i was seeing...
Babe! Why are you doing this to me? I think we've concluded on this long dead matter. Why this? Why this nowwwwwww?
Tough woman!
Tough woman!!
But i am tired of feigning toughness, I'm tired, I am freaking tired...................... i blurted out crying profusely. Adam and Mordecai innocently joined me and it was " Showers Of Weeping" .

My hubby knew not what to do that would at least extinguished the intensity of our weepings but then, he kept on patting my back softly as the eerie moment gradually fades away.
Babe! oya tell me naw 'cos, i'm so confuse.
Why are you so bent on not celebrating your 40th birthday? O wrong naw (it's wrong now). I knew something was wrong, totally wrong but I can't seem to place my head around what it was.
Babe! I'm leaving........I replied him.
It was as if i added more gasoline to a burning fire , i cried the more.

I'm more confused than before now.
What have i done?
What misdemeanor have i done that could have warranted this?
Sweetheart! I'm not even interested in knowing sef, just find a place in your heart to forgive this undeserving husband of yours 'cos ,I need you, our kids still need you here.
Don't leave us! he yelled tearily.

No one dares to cheat death at his set time,
Some people never get to bid farewells to their loved ones but i guess,I'm lucky with something after all.
I'm leaving because i'm dying babe!
My blood is sick!!

©Medemausi

The picture is mine.