Sometimes our dream wedding comes true, other times obstacles make them very far from our reach except you want to have a wedding or a world filled with robotic individuals of which you can control so as to do your bidding exactly how you want it.

My heart sank as I reminisced about my traditional wedding. Despite my utmost efforts to make it perfect, it fell short of my expectations, leaving me feeling far from happy. The journey towards a flawless celebration seemed to be a distant dream.

Traditional wedding is a type of wedding in Nigeria that has to do with traditional rites like paying of dowry, wine carrying etc.

My traditional dowry was outrageous. Since I didn't have any money to assist, I decided to help my husband by cutting down costs on my side. I didn't contact a make-up artist nor did I make a new hairstyle. Although the weather in the villa was very hot at that time and any make up done on me would have made me look like a monster because I was profusely sweating.

I entrusted my traditional wedding fabric to a tailor, along with my chosen style. Disappointingly, she decided to make something entirely different, disregarding my preferences and disregarding the agreed-upon deadline. With no time for adjustments, I had no choice but to make do with what I was given.

The day began with the event planner arriving late, bearing attires adorned with the wrong colours of beads and horsetails. The outfits for my bridesmaids were not the ones I had specifically chosen. Despite our meticulous arrangements regarding colours and design, the lady responsible failed to deliver as promised. Her untimeliness added unnecessary stress to an already tensed situation.

To make matters worse, the elders refused to enter our compound because we failed to display our banner and the village flag at the entrance of our house. Panic ensued as my family and I scrambled to locate the person responsible for installing the flag.

As if that wasn't enough, some items that my husband was supposed to purchase mysteriously vanished from the list. I was absolutely certain that we had bought them, but they seemed to have grown wings and disappeared. Consequently, my husband was forced to pay double for each missing item, compounding our frustrations.

And how could I forget the DJ? Despite providing him with a carefully curated list of songs by Flavour, Zoro, and Phyno, he deviated from our preferences and played Naira Marley's songs throughout the event. It felt as though he had taken ownership of the celebration, neglecting our desires entirely.

My fantasy of a perfect traditional wedding was shattered. However, determined to find some semblance of joy amidst the chaos, I made a conscious decision to be happy. I danced with all my might, seeking solace in the belief that true happiness stems from within. Both my husband and I chose not to partake in the wedding feast until the entire occasion had been concluded, a decision only known to us, driven by personal reasons.

As I reflect on my traditional wedding experience, I realise that a grand church wedding filled with noise and extravagance is not for us. If possible, we would prefer a private affair, limited to close family members and a select few friends. The idea of having a DJ seems unnecessary; instead, we might explore the option of having our church choir serenade us during the reception, breathing a sense of tranquillity into our special day. I might end up making my wedding gown, just something simple and elegant. Just a simple wedding, few people, and less expenses, less disappointment, more happiness and fulfilment, it's all about my husband and I.

Sometimes, life doesn't align perfectly with our dreams, reminding us that true happiness lies in embracing the imperfections and finding our own version of bliss amidst the chaos.

All images are mine.

Thank you for stopping by 🌸