If you have struggled a lot, you won't want the same fate for your children. This is because you have first-hand experience and you want them to be better than you in every possible way. That's why most parents love making decisions for their children, believing that they were once like them and wanting them to have a better life. There's nothing wrong with this, but it doesn't always work for every child and can create conflict because what you are trying to choose for them might not be what they want.
A lot of people struggle to choose a career path because they feel torn between following their aspirations and meeting their parents' expectations. Some individuals might not excel in the fields that their parents are pressuring them to pursue, which can hinder their personal growth and create a feeling of disconnection. For example, a person who enjoys singing and spending time with athletes might struggle to excel in an area like trying to make a fish climb a tree. It's important to recognize that this struggle may not always be their parent's fault and could be linked to past trauma.
Better is not good enough.
I have a friend whose parents don't want him to play football. They believe that football is just a distraction for him. This guy is a good footballer and the best among us, but anytime his dad suspects that he's playing football, he gets in trouble. I later found out that his father didn't go to school and that was his only regret. He wants his son to do better than him. He fears that his son will choose football over his studies, and that's how they killed the guy's talent. He regrets it to this day and almost hates his father for it.
There is no harm in choosing a career path for your children, but that doesn't mean you should suppress their natural talents. Instead of stifling their talents, you can help them experience the best of both worlds by encouraging their studies and nurturing their talents. Every parent wants their children to surpass them, but some parents push their children into paths they don't desire, creating inner conflict and hindering their growth in life. This stunts their talent and leads to confusion, making the individual feel useless.
Success can be hard when you are unfulfilled.
Some of us are deeply connected to our childhood, and the fact that we were not allowed to pursue our dreams eats away at us from within. No amount of success can fill the void. People in this situation cling to success, believing that the more success they achieve, the more fulfilled they will be. However, this is not the case. Success and fulfillment should go hand in hand. If your success does not bring fulfillment, something is wrong. These issues often stem from our childhood experiences. Regardless of our age, we can still pursue what truly brings us joy and not allow the mistakes of our parents to overshadow our happiness.
Thanks for your time.
I agree with the fulfillment aspect. You should feel happy doing what you are doing. Otherwise, it sounds like a chore and it doesn't bring much fulfillment to your own life. People should make their own decisions on what they want to do. If they fail, just learn from it and try again.
This has been a great problem in Nigeria as i also have friends that have suffered from the same issue, it is really painful and sad when you aren't given the chance to pursue your dreams.