Let's Write Together: "I ain't yer Chicken Nugget, Jed!"

This is an experimental Creative Write/Free write. I wrote this in the Hive.Pizza DiscordPizza Guild Discord while sharing my screen and asking for input/direction/whatever from the community. I think it will be an interesting way to construct a post and have no idea how this will turn out!

Rules!
They are few:

Anyone else in the voice channel's input overrides mine- I will type and incorporate ideas and input as I do- ANYONE in voice can make me edit or whatever!

Pizza Tips for participants!

Profit share of the Hive earnings from the post!

Other than that this is a standard free writing format! So lets GOOOOOOO!

It was a beautiful day this morning as I woke up to the sun breaking over my fields. I enjoyed the sunrise for a few moments before heading to the kitchen to make my customary pot of dark roast Sumatran coffee before I got to work tending my crops. I let the dog outside and with my steaming cup in hand I headed out to check on the chickens.

As I approached the coop Buster started barking and quickly circled around to the back. The old particleboard and plywood coop that has weathered years of exposure to the elements had finally given up and the rear wall had collapsed! It was clear that none of the chickens were inside.

I quickly called to Buster to heel, he may be a mostly well behaved pup, but with chickens on the loose the last thing I wanted was for him to get ahold of one! I depend on those eggs for breakfast every morning, and with the chickens roaming free it looks like I might be starting work hungry!

I took another peek in the coop in the hope of finding something for breakfast, with no luck. I gulped down a mouthful of too hot coffee instead and instantly regretted scalding my mouth and tongue.

With the morning pretty much ruined, I put Buster inside and went looking for my 15 missing hens. I set off towards the garden, whenever they have managed to get loose in the past they have always headed straight for the garden and it's delicious seeds and vegetables. It's only a short walk from the coop to the garden, even as I approached I could see that the crops were fine. Typically the chickens would knock over a few corn stalks to get at the ears of corn, or scratch up the dirt around my zucchini... but I could see no evidence of any of this!

I was a little confused, and paused to take another sip of suddenly ice cold coffee and consider the situation!

Wait a second.... how is my coffee suddenly freezing?!?!?

It had been mere moments since I burned myself.

There is no way that it could get this cold this fast

I looked around me suspiciously. I felt a tingling in my spine like I was being watched. I peered into my half empty mug.

Where did these ice cubes come from????

I looked around again wondering if someone had pranked me while I was checking the coop... but my coffee had remained in my hand the entire time. The tingling feeling struck me again. it was like a combination of that suspicious feeling that raises the hair on the back of your neck and the shivery sense of being observed in secret. I put my mug down and began to seriously inspect my surroundings for anyone or anything that could be messing with me.

I had the sudden urge to look up and above me sitting on a branch of the old oak tree that leans over my garden patch was a leprechaun.

I don't care whether you believe me or not. There was a leprechaun in that tree. It smiled right back at me mischievously with a twinkle in his eyes as if he was privy to some kind of secret. He began to swing his feet as if he was a child on a swing, and suddenly fell off the branch!

He fell with a crash onto my head, and I stumbled, managing to catch him before he hit the ground. He weighed next to nothing... Still I felt a trickle of blood run down my cheek as I put him down, he must have scratched me as he fell.

He dusted himself off when he found his feet and said "Howdy doo-dee doo! Look at look at YOU! Thanks for catching me there! Best of luck, now where on earth are me cluckity clucks?"

"What do you mean your cluckity clucks?" I asked, confused both by the strange pattern of speech and just the whole fact that I was seeing a leprechaun!

"Well I found em roaming free, so I thought hey these belong to meee! I was taking em home nice and safe, then you came along and I scratched your face!"

"Those chickens weren't yours to take, they're mine!" I said, still not quite believing this little man was real... maybe it was a branch that had hit me on the head making me see things!

I stepped forward waving my hands as if to banish this strange little smirking creature, and stumbled over the coffee cup I had put down earlier.

"Well lookee here, it seems to me, my bad luck is yours, you'll see!" With that the strange little man vanished in a puff of green smoke. I shook my head to clear it and bent down to pick up my cup of coffee. It was frozen solid at this point! A reminder of the fact that unless I was crazy something strange was certainly going on. After a moment to consider what had just happened I reached up and dabbed at the cut on my cheek. Yet more proof that these things were real!

I still had no idea where my chickens were but decided to go see if they had escaped my land altogether and perhaps were in the neighbors yard! I went and knocked on the door.

Jed and Mavis Cronklebury both answered the door and looked aghast at the state of me. I must have been quite a sight with blood on my face, covered in dirt, and a frozen cup of coffee in hand. Still the two of them looked at me like they had never seen me before in their life! I've known them for years though and we've been through a lot together- good times and bad. So I didn't worry too much about what they thought... Until Jed started to speak.

"Who're you? What you comin' round here waking us up at sunup for?" He pointed a shotgun at me and Mavis took a step back in surprise.

"Well Jed, I went to check on the chicken shed and get them fed, they seem to have fled! Sorry to get ya out of bed!"

"How do you know I'm Jed, I ain't never seen you round here before. I'd rather not use this." He said hefting the shotgun as he did.

"Come on now, I've known you for years! We've had plenty of beers, I even lent you my sheep shears!" Suddenly I realized I was speaking in rhymes! I wasn't trying to! It was just happening naturally. Another thought jumped into my head, quickly followed by a strange fear. Jed seemed enormous. He towered over me. This isn't right I'm taller than Jed! I stepped back, shaking.

"I saw that little feller! He was rooting around in the coop last night!" Mavis suddenly exclaimed, causing Jed to step forward and aim the shotgun directly at me. I grabbed at the shotgun and pushed it away as I heard the bone chilling sound of it being cocked. In my panic I barely noticed the strange appearance of my own arms, but something registered and I released the shotgun nearly instantly to gaze at my hands. They appeared to be growing feathers and I could do nothing but stare.

"MEET MY BOOMSTICK!" Jed shouted and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened but the knowledge of my near death shook me out of my reverie. I saw one of my new feathers fall from the firing pin as I turned and flapped away into the yard to try and reach some measure of safety.

"He's turning into a chicken Jed! Shoot him before he gets away!" Mavis shouted, and Jed pulled the trigger once again. This time I felt the percussion of the gun going off and the wind of the shot ripping past me. I felt it in the feathers that somehow already felt natural. I squawked in fear and flapped away hopping through the yard towards the fence. Thankfully the shotgun had blasted a hole in it large enough for my newly tiny form to squeeze through and escape.

Jed and Mavis quickly began bickering with each other about what they had seen.

"You said you seen 'im in the chicken coop Mavis! How could that be if he was a chicken 'imself"

"'E weren't a chicken when I saw him, just like he wasn't when he knocked on the door Jed! You shoulda blasted him when you 'ad the chance!"

"Well he's gone now! I better go check on our chickens!"

I heard Jed slam the door behind him and the crunch of his boots on the gravel pathway. I cowered under a Huckleberry bush to remain hidden. My thoughts began to feel sluggish and confused. I nearly forgot what I was so scared of when I noticed a beetle on one of the Huckleberry leaves.. I suddenly felt ravenous. Before I knew what was happening my neck lanced forward and I felt the crunch of the beetle on my beak and it's delicious innards on my tongue.

As I reveled in the delightful taste I felt a chill as a shadow passed overhead in the sky. Fear immobilized me, then I noticed another beetle...

SNAP GULP Crrrunnnnchy.

I left the shelter of the huckleberry bush in search of more beetles and delicious titbits, but the sudden cry of a hawk drove me back to shelter immediately.

I heard the crunch of boots once again and a man grabbed me from under the bush.

"Hello Nugget, how'd you get out? Lets get ya safe and sound in the coop! I heard a hawk just now."

I clucked satisfiedly in the crook of his arm as he carried me to the warm, safe place I knew was home.

Suddenly bits of the coop were blown to pieces as a mechanical roaring split the sky and one of those strange beasts that humans fly in sped down towards my home. It spat fire and metal that tore my home to pieces seemingly by chance.

"Damn fool war!" Shouted Jed, "Ain't no military bases round here! Just corn, sheep, and chickens!"

I squawked in agreement. And looked in sadness at the holes in the coop. I spotted another one of those beetles crawling on the side of the coop and began to struggle to get free of Jed's arm.

I landed on the ground and quickly snapped up the tasty morsel. As I swallowed the beetle whole the taste hit me like a truck and I retched in disgust. The ground suddenly seemed far away and I wondered what I was doing by Jed's chicken coop. What am I eating?

I stood up straight, and looked at my hands, I saw tiny feathers receding into my skin and shook my head in disbelief. I turned and Jed was aiming a shotgun at me.

"NUGGGGGETTTTT! What'd you do with my Nugget you fiend!?"

I began to walk away from Jed, ignoring the shotgun pointed at my back.

I squawked.

"BCKAAAAAWWWWWW! I ain't yer Chicken Nugget, Jed!"

End

Please join us in the Pizza Discord for next weeks Let's Write Together Event! Thanks to everyone that joined in this week and contributed to the plotline.