Let's Write Together- Cryptonius the Leprechaun

This is an experimental Creative Write/Free write. I wrote this in the Hive.Pizza DiscordPizza Guild Discord while sharing my screen and asking for input/direction/whatever from the community. I think it will be an interesting way to construct a post and have no idea how this will turn out!

Rules!
They are few:

Anyone else in the voice channel's input overrides mine- I will type and incorporate ideas and input as I do- ANYONE in voice can make me edit or whatever!

Pizza Tips for participants throughout the event

Other than that this is a standard free writing format! So lets GOOOOOOO!

The first people to join voice insisted we do a continuation of a previous Let's Write Together Event so let's see how it turns out!

@cryptoniusrex the Leprechaun was glum. It was Saint Patty's Day and he had no green beer to drink. Only regular beer. As most people know- in order for the magic of Leprechauns to work they have to regularly imbibe large quantities of green beer.

@cryptoniusrex however, had a taste for a particular brew. He had found that Elysian Space Dust enhanced his magic to such a degree that it was the only beer he would drink. Of course he had to dye it green himself but the power boost was worth it.

Image Source here

In order to get his hands on this heavenly brew he would have to waste his holiday out amongst the humans in their ridiculous green outfits, pretending to be his brethren. This is why Cryptonius was so glum.

In an effort to disguise himself before heading out to the human city he used his last vestiges of magic to fashion a disguise for himself. The power drained out of him before it was complete and as he grew through the various stages of human he felt it's strength ebb.

"There once was a leprechaun called Rex, he never knew what to drink next, until one day, his taste buds were swayed, and his magical muscles were flexed." He chanted as he felt himself change.

He checked when the spell was complete and saw a red bearded middle aged human man. Dressed all in green like a leprechaun would be. He wore a shamrock green fedora and glasses without lenses. His beard was manicured and came down to the middle of his chest. He felt an unavoidable urge to tell someone about his kombucha microbrewing operation. Until moments before he had no idea what kombucha even was. He tipped his fedora to a jaunty angle and adjusted his suspenders merrily.

Preparations complete he squeezed out of his burrow to head into town. He was so distracted by thoughts of microbrewed concoctions that he mistakenly stepped on his fairy neighbors Toadstool, crushing all those that lived inside. He felt a tingle in his plaid "Converse" but thought nothing of it as he sauntered over to his unicycle to practice his juggling on the way to town.

Juggling his rainbow batons expertly as he whistled zippedy doo dah, he picked up speed down the hill. He was so distracted by the wind trying to whip off his fedora and juggling that he wasn't paying attention to where his unicycle was taking him. Within moments he was peddling down a busy street in the middle of the road while humans honked their car horns at him relentlessly. Thankfully the thought of Elysian Space Dust kept him oblivious to the awful names and ridicule hurled his way by all that bore witness to him.

Just as he reached an intersection his handlebar mustache filtered out the smell of his chosen brew from amongst the scents of the city. He dropped the batons, forgotten. Excitement built in him as he followed his mustache to a nearby house from which the smell was emanating. There was clearly a party ongoing, and from the smell it was a good one. He hopped his unicycle expertly up the steps to the front door and was instantly challenged by an enormous man in an ill fitting suit at the door.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" He asked scornfully, eyeing @cryptoniusrex up and down somewhat suspiciously.

"The artist formerly known as @cryptoniusrex, surely I'll be making it big next!"

The bouncer looked him up and down once more, then shrugged "aight..." he said as he waved him inside. @cryptoniusrex pedaled onwards confidently with the crowd parting before him like the red sea. He felt the bouncer's eyes on his back and heard him mutter "bloody artists" under his breath before the sea of humans closed up behind him.

He was in the thick of things. Humans surrounded him on all sides and even began to jostle him on the unicycle- he could see over their heads though and made a beeline towards the kegs he could see outside on the back porch. He passed through a cloud of potent smoke, coughed once, and huffed "Is that even hydroponic? Where's the damn Chronic? Ditch weed, yes indeed."

He went through the house looking for his sweet reward pushing and grunting until he ended up in the yard. As he approached the glistening kegs he dismounted and ran the final few steps. It seemed to take more steps than expected and the kegs seemed to grow larger as he neared them. The humans in the yard seemed to be much taller than those inside the house as well. These facts registered only subconsciously as his mustache was overwhelmed by the heady smell of Elysian Space Dust calling to him. With inhuman strength he lifted the keg over his head and began to gulp the sweet elixir straight from the tap. Suddenly he realized that everything was silent.

He looked around with his mustache still sipping at the keg and realized that everyone was staring directly at him. He set the keg down and looked up at all of them.

"It's a party right? Why shouldn't I drink everything in sight! Get over here and hold my legs, I'm about to stand on all these kegs!" He declared while they stared.

"Bro.... aren't you like.... a kid?"

"I be older than yer grand pappy, and he aint no whipper snappy! This keg makes me happy, time to dance the tip tappy." Saying this he briefly jumped and danced an equally felicitous river dance. The crowd looked on, shocked. It was then that @cryptoniusrex realized just how short he now seemed to be. His suspenders were flapping around his elbows after the river dance. His hands were lost in the long sleeves of his tunic. His fedora suddenly slipped over his forehead and covered his eyes. He tipped it back up jovially and cocked it on the back of his head. He grinned at the staring humans cheekily.

"Don't think, let's drink! Though I be small, I'll out drink you all!"

The gathered humans remained dead silent for a moment, broken by the bouncer storming outside to see what had silenced the merriment. He took a look at @cryptoniusrex.

"YOU! What happened to you! Where is your mustache?"

"Lift me up for a drink, and I'll tell ya what I think. Is my mustache gone? Well where did it even come from?" The bouncer looked confused, then shrugged once more. He lifted @cryptoniusrex by the ankles so he could complete his keg stand. The silence was broken by the crowd suddenly chanting:

"DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK"

@cryptoniusrex was involved in the writing of this story and condones it's content. Based on a True Hive Pizza Event.

If Elysian Space Dust would like to sponsor future content please reach out to @dibblers.dabs or @cryptoniusrex or @rondonshneezy.

Happy Saint Patty's Day!