PERSONAL VEXATION.

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The average Nigerian is selfish for real, we like to blame the government and say they are greedy and don't let citizens have access to rights, but the government officials are people like us who at one time or another were just ordinary citizens till they got to their current post. This makes me conclude that the rot doesn't begin and end with them, it starts and ends with us as citizens. We don't like to be accountable, we are selfish and greedy. I've heard tales of Nigerians outside the country who aren't their brother's keeper because it's all man for himself.

We all have our ideas and values so I won't condemn anyone for their decision, they might have a reasonable explanation for their actions too, probably because they have been burned by someone they helped.

Who raised ungrateful, entitled, and backstabbing people? you would wonder. Usually, these kinds of mindsets have been implanted from home while growing. Take, for instance, my son in basic two has lots of extra notes for jotters, and he takes them to school. The notes were given to him by his grandmother because she gets them for free from the state government she works for.

I noticed earlier this year that he usually takes a new note as a jotter every week. It got me angry after I took the time to observe, and I called him to explain. He told me his mates usually asked him to give them pages of the notes for workings and counting sheets. The first thought that I had was that he was acting like a prodigal. Probably if the notes weren't that much, he wouldn't be so generous with it. The next morning, I woke with a different thought that popped into my head, if I told him to stop giving his peers, it simply means I'm teaching him to be selfish.

Make no mistake there's a difference between being generous and being wasteful, but he was too young to understand the thin line between both. So, I called him to have a heart-to-heart conversation, it's okay to be nice and give people things but let there be a boundary so, you won't be stranded when you need it for yourself. You shouldn't love your neighbor more than yourself after all.

He came back from school weeks after and he told me that because he forgot his jotter at home, he couldn't do his math sums properly. "You could have just asked one of your classmates for a sheet to work on," I told him. His response was, "No one gave me, they all said their parents told them not to give anyone else they would get beaten." Wow! That's life and that's how an average Nigerian is, always wanting to collect, but never willing to give. Is life that hard really? Children who have been conditioned with that sort of mentality grow up to become selfish adults. Charity begins at home, we can learn to be better.

Mind you, no one is obliged to give you anything regardless of your relationship with that person, it's just basic human morals. Give when you have, you don't have to act like because you are not accountable to anyone, you can choose to give or not. You are not accountable to anyone but it's nice to give.

As an adult, I've seen people have in excess and claim they are saving it for when they need it. Maybe it's just me, but as long as I have it when you ask and I'm not using it at the moment you can have it. It doesn't mean I'm stupid or slow, it's just a reflection of the kind of person I am. I love to give, and I hate being on the receiving end, I prefer to spread love and give.

Thankfully, I was raised in a household where giving is mandatory, as long as you have extra, you have to give. Give to the lord, give to your neighbors and anyone in need. I know some adults were raised differently, but you could try to be the change we all are clamoring for in the government. I've told as many people as I can that being selfish isn't a survival instinct, it's not. Apart from what the holy books say, the more you give, the more the universe favors you. Don't argue with me, I'm a testament to that fact.

That being said, my biggest peeve is selfish people. If someone needs your help and you don't render it, no big deal, someone else would. it's not about being entitled or nothing, though there are some exceptions to the rule. Some lazy, unbelievably entitled people act like it's their birthright, I won't speak for those, they should be put in their place.

In conclusion, let's be the change we want, I have kids, and I'm raising them both to be gentlemen, don't hold back because someone did the same to you, it's a reflection of the kind of person they are, not you. Let's do better people......