Live a little

Going out wasn't always my thing as a younger man but it wasn't necessarily by choice. I simply could not afford to buy drinks at marked up prices and so, I found entertainment buying from the supermarket and drinking it on the side of the road with my buddy.

As I get older, I see myself slowly morphing back into the way I used to be but this time, it is largely by choice and a little bit to do with life circumstances. In recent months, I find myself so focused on my future plans that it feels like I'm ignoring today.

As someone who hardly ever plans for anything longer than two weeks of my life, having plans that I intend to execute in ten years is a bit of culture shock to me. So much could happen in between that period, which is the reason I don't plan so far ahead in the first place but I feel like not having a plan in the first place, regardless of the uncertainties of life makes it worse.

In the past, I spent a large amount of time cooked up in my room, creating content and growing my audience on Hive. I had very little responsibilities back then and most importantly, I didn't go outside. Not going outside enabled me to afford my life and after paying my rent for the first time back in Nigeria, I realised my lifestyle was sustainable.

Now that I'm older, working at a company that pays me even more money than I use to earn in Nigeria, I find myself feeling insecure about my place in life and with so much at stake at every second, I simply cannot get comfortable. This then leads to the future plans that I intend to execute in a couple of years from now that will in fact ensure that our future is a bit more "comfortable" but take that loosely because it means dipping our toes in the perilous waters of entrepreneurship.

In any case, due to the need to save and prepare for these future plans, I find myself hardly taking in any pleasures outside. For the most part, outside is too expensive for me right now and it doesn't let me save.

I've spent the last couple of weeks moving from one screen to another, either working, playing video games, scrolling on my phone or going through my crypto portfolio. This will lead to more productivity but at the same time, I'll be missing out on life happening outside and there won't be any memories.

I'm not the most outgoing person but if you put a couple of drinks in me, I drop my inhibitions. Time is ticking life away and this is the only life we have to live but at the same time, my plans are staring me in the face. Finding a middle ground between work and life is harder than I thought it would be.