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RE: Sam’s Hangout #130 - “FRIENDS, FAMILY & FEUDS"
Hello everyone, here's my input regarding inheriting a family or friend's enemy .
First, I would like to say that if it were possible, or if it were within my power, I would not have any enemy. But, it's really sad that some people have made themselves enemy of others even without having issues or any misunderstandings.
Some people just dislike you for nothing, it's life and there's nothing anyone can do about it. There will always be someone out of a group who would not like you, and automatically make themselves your enemy .
However, if my friend has an enemy, it's not in my place to inherit their enemy. I don't know what happened between them, I don't know why they became enemies, and even if I'm aware, it's not my responsibility to make my friend's enemy my own enemy.
I feel like people who inherit their friend's enemies are not wise, that's not being a loyal or supportive friend, it's simply being petty and the inability to think and make independent decision. So, anywhere their friend pushes them to, they go, no standards, and no opinion of their own.
As a grown person, you should have standards, what you can and what you can't do, no matter the circumstances.
The world is a small place, you might need help some day and it turns out that your friend's 'enemy' is in better position to help, and it happened that you had co-hated them in the past because of your friend. You won't have the courage to ask them for help because you had already spoilt your chances with them.
Friends should be loyal and supportive to one another, but not to the point of encouraging evil.
For family, it is absolutely different.
Early this year I traveled back home, and my mum told me something about a church whose daughter happen to be my childhood friend. It was obviously my mum and my friend's mum had a misunderstanding. I knew everything because my mum told me. It didn't stop me from talking to my friend, which is possible the mum would have also told her about the misunderstanding.
We still talked, I still greeted the woman though at first when the issue was still fresh, she would grudgingly respond to my greetings, but I never stopped. I also noticed that the daughter stopped communication, she began to distance herself, and I stayed on my lane. In all of these, I was careful with the way I related with that family as that time. I stopped being over–familiar, and I just did my thing.
So, the thing is, I won't stop greeting and elderly person because they have issues with my dad or mum or other members of my family. But, I will create some form of distance because I not know a person's mind towards family and I.
The issue got resolved and everybody has moved on. The daughter and I don't talk, but we dey view each other status for Whatsapp.😂 Though I view hers once in a while cos that bond is no longer there.