The odds are slim, but can't give up now.

I attempted to do my shopping a few days ago only to come home feeling extremely dizzy, tired, and tired. The fatigue lasted for over 24 hours, and my first attempt at trying to do my shopping in over 2 months ended up causing extreme dizziness.

I attempted to go again yesterday, but the PTSD of getting that dizziness again held me back. I called my aunt on the phone, sent her some money, and asked her to do the shopping for me.

I actually could have taken the risk, but I was committed to a job yesterday, and I didn't want to fail in my duty or be out sick again.

Fortunately for me, I can comfortably work again from home, without feeling too tired, but the problem is that I still cannot go out to do my shopping comfortably. In the past I was able to do it: get back home, cook, and still get back to the grind.

I miss the days I could comfortably be a workaholic without feeling sick. Now it's either I sacrifice every other thing just to do the other things... At the beginning of the year, I was juggling multiple offline gigs.

Some days ago, I got paid by Kaito for a gig I did about 3 months ago; it wasn't much money, but it was something for my efforts. The point is that just a few months ago, I was a workaholic, and I managed to juggle outings, work, Hive, home, church, and family commitments; now I can only do one at a time.

The recovery has been slower, almost two months now, and I still can't do a lot. On the flip side, doing my dishes, cooking, and cleaning the house are things I can now comfortably do.

Overall, the anemia is not completely gone, because if it was, I wouldn't be feeling those dizzy spells when trying to shop or go out, and it's evident in the paleness on my feet as well.

However, I'm thankful. A lot of people would say, "Leave the hustle and take care of yourself," but it's not as easy; bills don't pay themselves, rents pile up, and family responsibilities do as well.

If you stay too long on the sideline, you can't pay bills, and there are no favorable systems to borrow money and pay back later; it's either you drown or you burn. There are no in-betweens, no hiding places, no middle ground, and no inheritance; you're just born with numerous needs, bills, and responsibilities, and sadly, no one is coming to save anyone.

I always juggled jobs and illness when I was younger, but I was younger, stronger, and strong-willed. I've learned to push things without having to depend on circumstances and people, because I know that people can fail, whether intentionally or not. When you understand that anyone can fail, you'll learn to lean on God and yourself, because why?

God and you are the only people who don't give up on you, and maybe the person you're married to or the person who birthed you; every other human has their melting point.