EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE DOING. ESPECIALLY ADULTS, THEY DO THINGS INTENTIONALLY.

Listen and hear me well and let's stop lying to ourselves.

We love to say,
He didn't know.
She didn't mean it.
We are still learning...

My dear, an adult knows what exactly he is doing.

We are not children playing sand in the village square. We are adults. We know our left from right.

Though, I learned this late, but I learned it well which is the main thing.

The bitter truth about adults is that an adult who does not reply your message after reading it knows what he is doing.

An adult who borrows money and switches off his phone on payback day knows what he is doing.

An adult who shames you online, who acts as judge, jury and executioner in your comment section knows exactly what he is doing.

An adult who keeps you as an option, who only calls you when he needs your help knows what he is doing.

We like to cover it with he forgot.
Hear me, adults don't forget things that benefit them. They forget only what they want to forget.

When I was younger, I used to defend people.
Maybe he is busy.
Maybe she didn't see my message.
Maybe they didn't mean to hurt me.

Now I am matured. And maturity, as I have written before, matters more than education. Maturity taught me that most adults are very intentional.

Read my own experience.
I had a friend. A close friend. We grew together in Akwa Ibom state. When I started writing on facebook years ago, he would commented on my post, nice one.

One day I needed fifteen thousand naira urgently. I called him. He said, please I don't have it now.

Few hours later, he posted a new phone on his WhatsApp status. iPhone 18 pro max.

I called him again and told him congratulations, he exclaimed ah, it's my girlfriend that bought it for me without me even asking him.

At this point I know that he knew what he was doing. He chose his image over my need. And that is okay. It was intentional. Once I accepted it was intentional, I stopped feeling guilty and confused. I allowed facts to correct me instead of guilt.

Facts said, He has money, but you are not his priority.
That's a fact, not an insult.

Another example is driving.
When a big car honks aggressively at a learner like me who has a big L sticker, and almost pushes me off the road that driver knows exactly what he is doing. He was once a learner too. He is intentionally intimidating.

When someone in a village meeting talks down on you because you don't live in the village, they know what they are doing. They want to feel superior.

Most reasons why many people petend not to know is because if we admit that people know what they are doing, we have to take action.

We have to set boundaries.
We have to stop begging for respect.
We have to rest without guilt and say I won't tolerate this anymore.

It is easier to say they didn't know so we can keep managing nonsense. But nonsense is intentional too.

What to do;

1. Stop over-explaining their bad behavior. If an adult hurts you repeatedly, it is not a mistake. It is a pattern. And pattern is intentional.

2. Believe their actions, not their excuses. Everybody can talk. But what did they do? Action is fact. Excuse is guilt trying to confuse you.

3. Become intentional too.
   Since everybody knows what they are doing, you too should know what you are doing.
   Be intentional about your peace.
   Be intentional about your rest.
   Be intentional about who you allow into your life.
   Life is for the living, so live it intentionally.

I am not saying become bitter.
I am saying become clear.

Don't hate them but rather see them clearly.

That uncle who always says you still don't know how to drive in front of everybody to shame you he knows what he is doing. Smile and continue to learn.
That person who always drops negative comments on your social media posts but never upvotes they know what they are doing.

Once you see it, you stop stressing.
You stop asking why me?
You start saying okay, noted.

My final words.
Children make mistakes.
Adults make choices.
And most choices are intentional.

So this new week, stop defending people who are intentionally hurting your growth. Stop feeling guilty for setting boundaries.

Facts will set you free, but only if you allow facts to correct you.

Everybody knows what they are doing.
Now you know too.

Do you agree?
Or do you still believe some adults genuinely don't know?

Let's talk in the comments.