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Well... You can't excuse or apologize yourself. You only can ask for it. If - whoever - don't accept, then - whoever - don't accept. It is a missconception that only because somebody says "sorry" all would be okay or as before.
I can tell you my personal perspective.
Look, I am a project creator too and I have met soo many Hive users who are here to abuse things. And I - and I assume many project makers feel like this - I/we are tired of this. And why someone should spend time with cheaters/abusers instead of grow things for the thrive of all honest members? Jesus would do, but not all members here are Jesus. And it is likely that nobody will put his hand into the fire for an abuser. But good, at least you understood the error you have done. Now it looks like you regret it. Why? Because of the money you don't generate or because you can't participate in the community. You still have a 56 behind your name. Be glad about. Downvoter could bring you to a minus score if they would like to do so.
Everybody can participate here, but the community does not accept to be abused. Easy as that. With cheating or abuse - whatever it was you made, I don't want to hear too - you run a risk many don't know or understand. And as you said - whoever - is reacting to your abuse and these downvotes are not random. You said there is a reason. Maybe your downvoters will stop one day when they see that you do different. Maybe. In German there is a saying which is (excuse me, you maybe like to translate this):
"Wer einmal lügt, dem glaubt man nicht. Auch wenn er denn die Wahrheit spricht."
Maybe you can build up a good name/reputation again, maybe not. Depends on you I think. But what I don't would do, is to wreck the nerves of the people who downvote you. The more you do, the more unlikely it is they will give you a next chance. And if you acted good long enough in the sense of good community behaviour, you maybe can ask them in weeks or a few months if they hadn't stop to downvote you. But be sure that now you always be on the radar. So there is only one way: acting good. If this isn't your goal, you should free yourself, leave and learn from that. Lastly this is why we are here, I assume: to learn and thrive. And sometimes learning and thriving is very close together to build a better tomorrow.
However you decide: I wish you the best; stay clean.
Thanks. A lot I get everything you stated. I really appreciate. When I was onboarded my aim was to get some funds to start my journey as a photographer fully because I lack the source and equipment to do so. But I won't say I made a mistake in abusing I knew I was but thought I wasn't going to get caught by it. I have learned from my mistake, my mistakes made me a bad person in my onboarders eyes because she too is also facing from the mistake I made, even when she warned me countless of time to hid from what I did. I'm not happy at all because it was her means of feeding and I made her lose it. Everyday I just feel like crying and I promised not abuse the community anymore because I have learned. I always dream Of helping other financially but instead I took away some else financial means of their daily bread. I lost a little of myself and I was trying not to make engagement in the community like I used to. But with this words of your I'm uplifted with the encouragement. I have said sorry a lot but this time I want my action to speak of it.
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