From his band The Big Push to duets and solos... Ren Gill is a very special young man and a true creative. His YouTube account is littered with comments from people suffering from depression, ME, Lyme disease, and psychosis... and testimonies of how much his music and words have helped them to survive their demons. He creates an emotional connection through his carefully chosen words, dramatic performances, and use of clever audio/visual cues and techniques.

Ren Gill is not just a musician; he is a performance poet, an artist, and a voice for a generation. I came across him the other day in a post by @snook where she shared one of his songs - an epic rendition of Hi Ren which will make up one of my #threetunetuesday official shares today.

For those unfamiliar with #ttt or #threetunetuesday... and who would like to take part, then the just is as follows according to @ablaze :

"Every Tuesday I'm going to share 3 songs which I like to listen to and I invite your feedback in the comments below. Better still, why not have a blast of your own Three Tune Tuesday and mention me in the post and I'll come and find the post and upvote it. If you could also use #threetunetuesday tag that would be great, as that is what I use when sifting through all the entries every Wednesday. It'll be a sweet way for us all to discover new music. You'll also be in with a chance of winning the prize..." _{Check out @ablaze's latest post here}

In 2010 Ren was signed to the Sony Record label but quickly lost his contract when he fell ill, being diagnosed with Lyme disease and M.E. years down the line. He also suffers from an autoimmunity disease. Today, Ren self-promotes his music and spends his time recording his work, and busking the streets of Brighton in the UK when he isn't confined to his bedroom.

If you'd like to understand more about the person behind the personality, feel free to go down the rabbit hole with Ren... just as I did...

In the meantime, this first shared song and YouTube video link, and the pinned commentary by Ren beneath it, gives you a very good insight into the pain and anguish of living a life defined by chronic illness - autoimmunity, M.E., and stress-induced psychosis, to name just a few.

Note: This video footage features repeated use of the f-bomb although personally, I don't feel that it is indiscriminate or gratuitous within the context of the vlog. As a result, however, it does not meet PG13 rating guidelines.

Nina Simone once said that it was an artist's duty for their work to fearlessly reflect their life circumstances. In 2016 I had a stem cell transplant that saved my life, this video was taken two years before that. After the transplant, I decided to force my past into a little box and hide it from myself. I wouldn't ever watch this video back. There has always been a part of me that's terrified that I'll end up back here and lose myself again. That part of me always gets loudest when I'm on my own with my thoughts._{Source - Ren Gill}

Patience

_{Full lyrics here by Ren Gill}

Patience

And I have the heart of a lion
And the stars burn bright inside of me
And although you test me, my God
I stand so proudly can't you see
But I have the strength of a mountain
And I'll take all You throw at me

Patience is Ren's attempt to share his experience of living with his illness and to describe what motivates him to get up every day. I had this song on repeat for hours. His story touched me so deeply and I was completely drawn by this young man who has, despite the odds, continued to fight back and pour what little energy he has into being creative, remaining true to his authentic self, and reaching out to connect with and help others. Despite dealing with isolation, loneliness, and the depression that comes with a life devoid of hope a lot of the time, he manages to lift himself up and somehow remain positive.

Chalk Outlines

_{Live performanceby Ren Gill and CHINCHILLA}

Chalk outlines
I'm still here in this bed that I crawled in
I hope that I'm someone else in the morning
So take this one, wash it down and you'll be fine
Then walk around in a floating chalk outline.

_{Copyright XVii Records - Full lyrics here by Ren Gill}

Chalk Outlines describes how the use of pharmaceuticals acts as a temporary mask for how Ren feels and experiences life; he can erase his real self and hide behind redrawn images that he presents to the world. The tragedy is that in using these forms of legal drugs to enable him to survive in the world... he is simply doing that... surviving and not living. He might as well be walking around inside a dead body for the quality of life that it gives to his authentic self. In a life where we have to take a pill to mask the symptoms of depression, we erase and redraw imprecise and rough images that represent a fraction of what and who we truly are...

Hi Ren
Note: NSFW content. This video footage features repeated use of the f-bomb although personally, I feel it is appropriately used to distinguish the different aspects and paradox of personalities shown within the context of the song. As a result, however, it does not meet PG13 rating guidelines.

"This is no longer a song. This is no longer music. This is a soul splitting open and exploding into art."_{Ari Grossman's apt commentary on Hi Ren}

Hi Ren is performance art at its best! I have never before seen such an engaging tour de force in music. The song showcases both the dark and light sides of human nature or simply two sides of the same coin, as Ren says. On the one hand, we have the inner torment and fight to survive; to suppress the forces of darkness at play in our minds. On the other hand, we have the little voice of doubt, the shadow that hangs over us - gaslighting, mocking, and undermining our confidence and ability to move forward with our lives. Ren uses lyrics, dramatic performance, and lighting techniques to accentuate the duality of our human nature and to show the fractured and frenzied state of a mind in turmoil, struggling to survive. Of a human being working hard to escape the clutches of the dark side and to emerge victorious in the light.

As Ren says at the end... when the guitar is finally put away... and he takes the chance to address his audience and to describe his journey and struggle with autoimmune illness and stress-induced psychosis...

"It wasn't David versus Goliath, it was a pendulum eternally swaying from the dark to the light, and the more intensely that the light shone, the darker the shadow it cast. It was never really a battle for me to win. It was an eternal dance... It is this eternal dance that separates human beings from angels, from demons, from gods, and I must not forget... we must not forget... that we are human beings."_{Ren Gill}

Bonus content... 😂💗

The Tale of Jenny and Screech (360 degree video)
Warning: NSFW content. Lyrics may cause distress or act as a trigger for anyone sensitive to explicit language and references to physical violence towards women.

A brilliant trilogy - one of Ren's seminal works of performance and lyrical art. It reminds me a lot of Elvis Presley's In The Ghetto in the message of cyclical pain and suffering and is a statement creating awareness of the senseless violence and hardship still being experienced by many behind closed doors and on the backstreets of our society. This live version performed at a street concert in Brighton in the UK, covering all three songs in the trilogy, was filmed in 360-degree video which allows one to pinch and scan 360 degrees at any time throughout the recording. I believe it can also be watched using a set of VR glasses for a more immersive experience!

I hope you enjoyed this Three Tune Tuesday Post as much as I enjoyed exploring Ren's portfolio of creative works.