Title: How Do We Stop Loving For What People Have? My Take On Transactional Love - HRI 124
Many years ago, my grandma told me how she married my grandpa. He had only one shirt and one bicycle. But she loved him for his character, his hard work, his honesty. People were loved for who they are, not for what they have.
Today, time has changed. Now people love and even marry based on what one can provide. Love has become transaction.
I have seen this many times around me. A girl will tell you "I cannot date a broke guy" even if the guy is respectful and has future. A guy will say "I cannot marry a girl who cannot give me something." Everyone is calculating profit, not love. It is now "what will I gain?" not "who is this person?"
To be honest, there is small sense in it. As an adult, you need a partner who can support. Nobody wants to suffer. If you are a man or woman, you should have something to support with. Relationship is partnership, so support is normal. The problem is when it is not about support but about absolute dependence and entitlement. When a person feels they deserve your money because they are dating you, when love is measured by how much you spend, then something is wrong.
That is why today many relationships are casual. The man already knows the woman is there for what he has — money, car, house. And the woman also knows the man is with her for his own selfish interest. So both are just using each other. They take what they want and play around with each other's emotions. No commitment. Today they are together, tomorrow they break up because someone richer came.
But is that how love should be? Is love supposed to be tied to what one can offer? I don't think so.
For me, we can bring back genuine love if we do these things:
Value character over material. Ask about kindness, patience, respect, not just bank account.
Build yourself first. When you have your own money, you will not enter relationship because of hunger. You will love genuinely.
Be honest from start. Say what you want. Don't pretend to love when you are there for money.
Stop comparing relationships on social media. Many people showing love online are acting. Real love is quiet.
If we can do this, we will reduce transactional relationships and bring back genuine love where people love for who they are, not what they have.
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