You are viewing a single comment's thread:

RE: What does it feel like to be autistic?

I'm always open to these discussions. I don't see women as my enemy, I love women lol.

Okay, so now I have a few questions for you before I answer yours.

  1. What is your relationship like with your Father? Or, if none, what was your relationship like with the leading men in your life?
  2. Do you have a son?

Female privileges? Hmm. Let me think of a few. I'll do this speaking as if I am a woman:

  1. I can shout Rape and people will take me seriously
  2. I can get into clubs and bars for free
  3. Men rush around to help me when I'm in distress
  4. When I'm in distress I'm (usually) taken way more seriously than my male counterparts.
  5. I can have sex with someone, get pregnant, and then the sole decision on whether it lives or dies rests on my shoulders.
  6. I can also choose to fully birth number 5, and regardless of how the man feels about it, make him financially responsible for 18 years.
  7. I can terminate number 5, regardless of what the male chooses.
  8. People take violence against my gender WAY more seriously than any other - ie Where are the battered men shelters? Why aren't we talking about men are just as scared to go out in the dark at night as women?
  9. Violence against men charities don't exist, even although violence against men is way higher, and partner-relationship violence between genders is in similar numbers.
  10. Child rape in schools is taken far more seriously when the victim is my gender, rather than a male counterpart, and the person that did the crime given way more serious jail time if he is a man.
  11. People consider my problems, and is largely documented in schools, colleges, universities and in the private sector. I couldn't list many problems men have because we don't talk or consider it much - men don't have problems anyway? Do they?

Just a few I can think of off the top of my head and what I've witnessed over my 42 years of life. But like I say I'm a realist and I can probably list just as much privileges men have over women if you asked me -- if not more because I am a man and I have acute experience over my advantages, disadvantages because we all have them!

My thoughts of your post is this: There's a war going on alright, but it's not outside, it seems to be from the inside, hence my question on the leading men in your life. Here's why:

I was in this movement when I left the Charity sector and went to write my blog. It seemed a good cause, and a good way to help with good clean mental health tips filtrated through the system. I even went as far as to jump on the metoo movement back in the day.

It all fell apart when I stood up and started talking about when I was raped as a kid by an older girl and started speaking on what a devastating impact it had on me as a young man, and an adult. Took years to work through that, and I mean yeeeears.

But then suddenly I was told to sit down and shut up because this was a female empowerment moment, and you know, yes, that was only one or two women that told me this and it wasn't the collective but it did give me cause to investigate, so I did.

  • I read all about Bill Clinton being a serial rapist and it never once being investigated.

  • I read all about the massive disparities in emergency support for domestic abuse survivors with Men v Women

  • I talked to hundreds of men (and women), and read thousands more on the family court system and how it strangleholds men into using their kids as weapons to financially abuse them

And you know what? Anytime I tried to talk about any of this I was laughed at, scoffed, was told that I hated women, I was racist, sexist, and whatever else under the sun.

So it seems to be quite Political and not derived from any social good - I've always been taught "do no harm" in whatever I've put my hand to, so I can't quite get behind this whole kick men out to let women in. I've always been of the mind that if you help one, there's nothing stopping you from helping the other also.

Quick story. When I was doing a training course in the mental health sector, the teacher was telling us that the disparities in abuse between the genders for vulnerable people were quite neck and neck, and me being the young naive boy that I was, I scoffed, and laughed, and shouted - "how does a woman abuse a man? hahahaha"

Lady walked right up to me, standing tall above my table, looked me in the eye, and said, "Raymond, I want to fuck you. Come meet me after class"

Well, I must have felt the size of a peanut as I looked around, everyone's eyes on me, beetroot red, didn't know what to say. I was not only quiet, but wished the ground would swallow me up.

"That! Is only one of the ways in which you can abuse a man" -- she turned back to the class and smiled at me calmly as if to say it was over now.

So I digress. I've been through enough in this life to know it's a struggle for us all.

I could go into the ways on how our history has been revised in such a way that makes men look horrific when in reality it was brutal for us all. But that would be more of a dissertation than anything else. So I'll save you from it lol.


Equality is a pipe dream. All men and women are not born equal, making them equal is forcing some people into doing what they don't want to do.

In your equality vision - what do you do with those that simply do not want equality and just want to be left to their own devices? And resist it at all costs?

I'm more of a person that wants to help people compete with one another on fair terms. That's me :)

0E-8 BEE
1 comments
(edited)

Oh. Thanks for engaging!

  • What is your relationship like with your Father? Or, if none, what was your relationship like with the leading men in your life?

My dad was a legend and no man will ever live up to him. The end :D
Ā 

  • Do you have a son?

Yep. And I'm teaching him how not to be a man (by society's dictates of what this is... just sad šŸ˜”)
Ā 



Ā 

  • I can shout Rape and people will take me seriously

Really? We have something called "The cautionary Rule" out here in SA. Legally added to legislature for such cases. It cautions the court to not believe the woman because women are dishonest and shouldn't be trusted. Only removed quite recently but the legacy lives on sadly.

Men are believed first around here. Always. It's just the way things are. As far as men being raped... I know a few who were as I work in the arena of mental health and addiction... they just don't report it mostly due to the stigma (see video above). Also very sad.

In some countries... if a woman is raped she is publicly stoned for being promiscuous. Still.

Perhaps your comment depends on where you live in the world?

Ā 

  • I can get into clubs and bars for free

Really? Send me the names so I can too, please :D

If a woman is gifted with anything by a man, it's because he wants to fuck her. The end. I'd trade paying to get into a club for being treated like an object any day. It's pretty awful and depressing... and disrespectful... #justsaying

Ā 

  • Men rush around to help me when I'm in distress

Please god send them my way!

Also - because they want to fuck the woman. Especially if she's in distress. Easy meat (see above). Horrific! In addition... they will withdraw offers of assistance if she won't. Fact!

Ā 

  • When I'm in distress I'm (usually) taken way more seriously than my male counterparts.

Totally incorrect. The diagnoses for "Hysteria", once seen to be purely a feminine "disorder", was only removed from the DSM in 1980. Yep. 1980! (You may know this already if you worked in mental health?)

Women are still seen as "dramatic", overly emotional or downright crazy if they are distressed about anything much.

Ā 

-I can have sex with someone, get pregnant, and then the sole decision on whether it lives or dies rests on my shoulders.

Point taken.

But personal freedom and autonomy. If I do not have complete freedom over my own body then... well... I think this is probably the single most horrific thing a person can do to another human being.

This discussion moves into Human Rights Violations.

Ā 

  • I can also choose to fully birth number 5, and regardless of how the man feels about it, make him financially responsible for 18 years.

The man is equally responsible for avoiding unwanted pregnancies. If you are actually into equality. No-brainer. No discussion.

Ā 

  • I can terminate number 5, regardless of what the male chooses.

Repetitive. Speaks to personal motivation and lack of objectivity in this discussion. (answered above)

Ā 

  • People take violence against my gender WAY more seriously than any other - ie Where are the battered men shelters? Why aren't we talking about men are just as scared to go out in the dark at night as women?

Only because most men don't report it. See answer above please. Yes. Stats are almost 50% equal regarding domestic violence and abuse. I also worked in this arena for a year or so. Not fun.

Ā 

  • Violence against men charities don't exist, even although violence against men is way higher, and partner-relationship violence between genders is in similar numbers.

Repetitive and speaks to personal motivation. I'm sorry if you were hurt or knew someone who was. It's horrific and brutal. (also... due to not being reported because of stigma... so less support and facilities again. Stats incorrect though. Or perhaps that is location based. Here is it almost and even 50/50% - just under but around this)

Ā 

  • Child rape in schools is taken far more seriously when the victim is my gender, rather than a male counterpart, and the person that did the crime given way more serious jail time if he is a man.

I can't comment as have not researched this. I do know that an alleged rapist is usually out on bail for around R200, within days, here in South Africa. If they bother to investigate or arrest him at all. Often the police just ignore women who ask for assistance in South Africa.

Ā 

  • People consider my problems, and is largely documented in schools, colleges, universities and in the private sector. I couldn't list many problems men have because we don't talk or consider it much - men don't have problems anyway? Do they?

Due to gender stereotyping and social constructs. Which is why I spend so much time trying to discuss them and break them down. I have a son.

Ā 

I answered these questions before I read the rest of your comment... to do it methodically.

I suspected you were hurt and I'm really sorry you had that experience.

You teacher sounds ignorant and should not be teaching any children anything, quite frankly.

She's a fucking idiot.

But you get them.

People who are into oppression because of the power and control? They are more on the scale towards sociopathic. You can't do much about them.

What we can do is up skill the good souls (like you) to be strong and resilient, to see the predators early on (prevention is the best way forward) and to fight when they have to, because it's not a gentle world. We should probably teach our kids how to fight and that they should then fight to the death if necessary. Like take the m*therfucker down fight hard.

And then teach them when to fight and how to walk away first, if they can.

We've gone soft, too scared to talk about the gritty side of life. All love and light and no truth or reality. And it's allowing people to get hurt!

So thank you for your courage and for engaging. And the time you put in to doing this

šŸ‘

Also... a male friend of mine shared his rape during the #meetoo campaign. Online on Facebook. He was supported by myself, and some other women, publicly.

Those that didn't do that for you? Ignorance and fear again. That's more about them than it is about you. That is not yours to carry, my friend. You can put that down.

Pretty much the same for anyone's "opinion" of you. Really... people see and hear what suits them best personally. It is what it is.

Stay you and keep up the good fight šŸ’„šŸ’•

0E-8 BEE