Lonely path

Lonely paths! There comes a time in every man’s life when they have to walk some lonely paths alone. These times are not sweet moments and you feel all alone.

The irony of lonely paths is that they do not come once. It’s not a journey you have to undertake once but every now and then, you’d see yourself come to that point when you have to take some lonely paths indeed.

Husband and wives even though they are married may come to this junctures. No matter how in love you are with someone or how much someone loves you, you will have times when even the greatest love of your love will not walk that path with you.

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They will be there for you, sympathize with you, probably hold your hands through it all but that invisible path you have to walk.

Life happens and people come and go. Lately I have been grieving the loss of my friends. For what ever reasons, I just woke up to the fact that I am alone in a year. I used to have four persons who were closest to me. Whom I can confide in and have a heart to heart talk with.

Today I am just awaking to the fact that am on a lonely path. The first separation started with moving away to another city and my very own bestie is no longer close enough. They say that distance is not a barrier but I have never had more barriers than the one instigated through distance.

Maybe its getting to me because am not much of a friend person and having the little circle which have been torn by situations is taking its toll on me. Distance! We try to talk as much as but it’s never enough. Sometime am lost for words cos the geographical experiences are not the same and the synergy of understanding differs.

Our hands are tied and both needs reaching out to. It’s like two people in different rut’s trying to reach out to each other it doesn’t work well. The next one was distance and some unseemly incident that made her stay away. For some reasons it wasn’t like this and I am still pained by the choice to secrecy and blackout. This morning I talked to God about the pain and loneliness in my heart and how I feel pained that someone I called a friend could just move on without looking back.

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I don’t know how to move on. I need someone to talk to. The other one just woke up one day and distanced too with reasons sounding like what I don’t understand. Is something wrong with me? Yeah the world does not revolve around me. Maybe I am too needy or too clingy. We all need friends right? Or maybe it’s time for us all to grow up?

There’s an ache in my heart. My comfort is my blog, where I walk into and pour out my heart. I felt I’ve been good to these ones. I stood by them when they needed me the most. I went out of my way when they were in need to reach out to them. I believed in them. I prayed for them. I encouraged and supported them. But to dessert just like that? I don’t understand.

Maybe everything will be fine in the end. Maybe I would just hold my peace and shed some tears. Maybe I need to look inwards and find my strength again but right now, I am on a lonely path and I don’t know how long I have to walk this path…

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