Approve of me please

Approve of me, approve of me I cried silently. It had been my heart cry for years. I cried in silence when no one as watching. I cried in the middle of the night and would wet my pillows.

My tears flowed like a river. My heart mused within me, yearning for approval. Approval from a man. I write this because I’ve been past those foolish seasons of my life and I know that someone may come across this article someday and it would be the deliverance they need.

Nothing I did was ever good. It’s from one criticism to the other and one complain to the other. One verbal abuse to the other. One name calling to the other.

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We are all wonderfully made and we should appreciate and value ourselves before we expect people to value us and appreciate us. If we do not approve ourselves and carry ourselves well, others will perceive that lack in us and will not hesitate to treat us less.

Most time we tell people how to treat us. And people will always match the standards we set for them. Those who can stays and those you can’t goes.

This is not to say that we can’t work on ourselves when necessary. No this is to say that we are not perfect and of course we all have something we need to work on daily as we grow and keep changing for the best.

This is to say that we should not put ourselves at the mercy of others where we have to just drop everything about us on them waiting for their acceptance or approval.

Most people won’t even approve of you until you succeed how much more when you just leave yourself to their mercy.

Well, this happens especially in intimate relationships where a man is waiting for a woman to accept him and love him in return or a woman is inlove with a man and is waiting for a man’s love as in this scenario am describing.

You would wait and wait and waste your years. Hey, you are too old to waste you time and you are too young to be miserable. Dust yourself and get up from there.

I suffered so much emotionally abuse that I didn’t recognized I was a beautiful lady anymore. I was waiting for one man to approve me. To love me and he would never.

It was so bad that one day, I met a senior colleague of mine whom I had been relating with online and we had never seen ourselves physically. Finally we met and after our discussion and all, he added by the way you are beautiful.

Oh my God, I felt like I’ve won a lottery. And am like at last someone sees me as beautiful. It was a reminder to me that I was actually beautiful and it came as a shock because I had been in a rot so much that I’ve forgotten that am actually beautiful.

I finally had to tell myself that it was enough. I don’t need this approval anymore. God approves of me and thats enough for me. I approve of myself and that’s enough.

I was tired of waiting for a man’s approval. I put on my big girls pants and started my mental rehabilitation and started speaking to myself again and again until I regained my self worth and value.

Am never gonna sit and wait for anyone’s approval. Ama stand up and do the right things required of me. Ama love myself real good until a deserving complementing love shows up. Am approved, by me yes.

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