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RE: Doubts, Fears, and Hopes for the Future
Ahw, Thank you so much for your sweet and honest comment. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who struggles with the constant pressure to be "on" 24/7. Of course, I know more people feel this way, but not many dare to admit it—especially in a time where social media often feels like a competition to showcase how perfect everyone’s life is.
I truly believe that being bullied at a young age can have a profound and long-lasting impact. It shapes your mindset, self-image, and ultimately your development and choices later in life. It influences everything, especially during such a critical, formative period. Yet, it seems these effects are still underrecognized and overlooked by many, and there’s far too little attention given to this issue, even today.
Unfortunately, it’s the reality we’re living in. But a shift in the way employers think could make a real difference. The current approach leaves so many capable people on the sidelines—people who could bring tremendous value if they were supported more healthily. There’s constant talk about staff shortages, yet little effort to create environments where employees can truly thrive. That mentality needs to change.
We are told to get over it, mostly. It is so long ago. My bullies apologized, and when I could not say I forgave them, they all but took it back, as if I was being unreasonable. I had nightmares for years. It shaped my nervous system, my relationships to others, my sense of worth. It is not something you easily get over.
Some establishments understand it takes all kinds to make a productive workplace, but not many. It's like you have to be already working there before you can ask for help and hope you aren't pushed out. Or worse, gaslighted - as if you aren't good enough or strong enough when you are actually brilliant and just need a break.
At 53, I think my work days are done. I can manage a few days relief teaching but that's it. I'm exhausted from years of pretending to be in control and capable. I was a fantastic teacher. Energetic, creative, passionate, and God help the bully because if I caught anyone being an asshole I would sit them down for a stern talking to.
But there's only so long you can perform.