Time To Let The Burden | Good Bye My Curation Account

Hello everyone, today I would like to talk about the burden that i kept recently and why i decide to let it go even if it feels hard. Without any further, let's talk this session.

I was excited to run my @indonesianhiver curation account to give additional curation for Indonesian hive blogger out there. Even if there is up and down due to real life work and family things, i keep try to run that account. And that excitement is spark even more lately.

I realized that my curation account had so little power, even after the trails that it got, the upvotes value only goes around 0,03 on 100% vote weight after followed by all trails. That was so little for trying to convince new people in, because I can't support them enough with those little power. I was curious and tried to calculate how many hive powers all Indonesian blogger that I found on this ecosystem along with their free power, and I found that active Indonesian users that I found are have 116,709 Hive Power in Total , with 109,900 Hive Power free after delegate in and out. I also found some inactive users with total HP 8,011 HP in combned, and 6124 free HP.

I really wish that we as Indonesian hive blogger could support each other, because there is a massive hive power if we combined them. I tried to understand their reason not to join the project, even after some promoting from me. The more i'm on hive, i learned that many project are offering great offer rather than just the curation reward share, that's why i try to think how if I do the same. I tried to put that on the mind map with raw idea i got in my head

I also tried to calculate that If i want to give a curation with 100% weight having 2$ value (1$ for the writer), then i need around 128,354 HP at the times, and with 10,5% leasing price, I need at least 1123 hive to rent each month, that was a massive amount of hive, and with curation earning around 8%, i still need 267 hive to fill the leasing cost each month. I think about getting the rest by selling the token and getting writing reward, that why i try to publish new content like this one, that highlighting great content that made by Indonesian writer as an inspiration for fellow Indonesian writer out there, to improve our content quality while trying to accumulate some votes, but the upvotes result are sadly so little.

I talk with my friend about the token possibility and got dizzy because my friend say beside the creation, you need BEE as well for the toke gas fee 😅, then I got something in my mind, what if to cover the 2,5% of the leasing cost (10,5%-8%), I try to get 4 people that would like to "sacrifice" themselves by giving back 50% of the curation reward that get from the account if the leasing where activated and could give the rest for all other Indonesian writer. But I was scared of being accused with transactional votes that will hurt my profiles and people that join them, and I don't want people get hurt because of me even it it's for an action for the community.

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All those actions (planning, researching, creating zealy, creating the daily highlight, doing calculation, giving curation, etc) are taking my time so much, that i've been slept late lately, more than 01.00 am, and that was caused my sleep quality is low, my body not fit enough to work well and handle the family like i used to be, and doing the morning pray on time. I realize that I need to stop this habits, because my life is not just on hive, I also had to work to feed my family, and hang around with them, put my presence, and give positivy for my family, something that been reduced since i try to do more for @indonesianhiver.

I realized that my effort is cost other aspect on my real life, and on the other side is not giving much impact to the community due to lack of hive powers. And even with all those plans, it would just make my job more complicated, and I think i don't have enough time and resource to make it. I need to balance my life, my work, my family, and my own account, because i got so little time to write while I still need to get some money for my family need. I realized that curating is need more times than i thought, and writing a highlight about it need even more times. That's why I'm stop doing the curation, and focus on my own life. I got sleep earlier, without having the burden to write and curate. My body feels better to face the world, because not just about the job, i also have to handle 2 sons at home. I feel that this decision has improved my life quality. I'm thinking about doing excercise to mantain my health and shape as well, and i'm possitive I will be able to do that soon with less burden on me.

I'm sorry for fellow indonesian writer, if you had big expectation on @indonesianhiver. I would also thank @dewabrata for helping me curate at times i couldn't. And i'm also open if someone are going to build the curation acount with my idea as inspiration, because I do it not for me, but for the community. I wish there will be a curation account for support Indonesian hive blogger, that not just giving curation to low quality post on their own community with own language. I wish for a curation account that push the writer to go out of their comfort zone and reach audience from many community out there with great content, and able to encourage more (new) people to join this community with the curation power they had.

Now I'm looking forward to improve myself, my relationship with my family, with god, with my work, and other community on hive. I want to do more things in this life, learning to code again, doing sport and excercise, and learn new things ( I really want to do planting, maybe with hydroponics, or traditional). I wish people especially Indonesian hivers could understand my reason, and keep giving their best to this community, because I'm prepared to do so 😊

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Thanks for kindly read my post, I think this is enough to express my feeling, and see you on my next blog.
Note : I might be back one day after accumulate massive power or get some sponsors 😉

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Credits
Hive for the very useful community platform
Mrs. carrieallen for the very useful ULTIMATE Markdown Tutorial
All curators for the upvotes
Canva for the free photoshop and images
Media tenor and gif feature from PeakD for all those awesome gif

~Thank You~