The unforgettable feeling of losing someone; the healing journey

Good day, hivers! Have you ever experienced losing someone for eternity? Do you ever feel the kind of losing that person knowing that you would never see them again? Because I do. I have lost a friend I treasured so much more that just an ordinary friend.

When I was in elementary, I never really had a lot of friends, maybe because no one wanted to be friends with me, that's what I thought. Then there's this girl, who made me an exception. She's the first person whom I considered a friend. It was a coincidence that both our mothers were friends with each other.

Years passed, and our friendship continued. We always played with each other, inside or outside the school. She was the one who introduced me to the world of K-POP and influenced me to listen to their songs until it became a favorite hobby. She was the one who taught me to be open with my social life and because of her, I made a lot of friends.

Our friendship became stronger when we were in our last year in elementary. We always relate to each other, whether it is about behavior or interests. I even remember that time when we had a discussion in mathematics and we both admitted that we hated it.

During the pandemic, I thought it would hinder our friendship but I was wrong. We never forget to communicate with each other along with our other friends. We went to school together to get our modules and went home still together. When we had something interesting to talk to, we would call each other, laughing and talking until midnight.

High school came and our friendship still holds on. Our elementary friends slowly grew apart from us but in our case, we became unseparated. We still hang out with each other. For the first two years in high school, we are classmates. When the third year came, two girls were added to us that we didn't know would be our other half.

We made such a strong circle back then, just the four of us. Full of laughter, all-day gossip, and never-ending wandering. We shared a lot of secrets with each other, keeping it within ourselves. Those times when one of us was devastated about their situation, giving them a shoulder to cry on and ears to listen to their rants. Everything was enjoyably chaotic.

But destiny always had something for us. When we finished the third year and were preparing for the last year of being a junior, the most unacceptable thing happened that up until now we couldn't imagine how we got through that. This friend of mine was admitted to the hospital and was announced comatose. I couldn't measure the feelings I felt at that very moment. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to say, and I didn't know what to feel.

We all seemed like we lost hope in everything. Then, just one morning, I woke up with the news of her passing away, without even saying goodbye to us. All I could remember is that it was painful, very painful, even the tears wouldn't come out. I thought it was enough, but seeing her lying inside the coffin that was supposed to be in her bed, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her and our left-behind dreams for the future.

Seven days with her was not enough because we had to spend it at her funeral when it should be a relaxing vacation. Those were the longest weeks in our entire lives, we wished for it to never end because we are not yet ready to take her in her final moment. But it was never meant to be granted. At last, we have to face the reality of letting go.

The first week of school felt so new, without her by our side. Without her who always reminded us of everything, without her who always asked to go to the canteen, without her who forced us to dance for a TikTok video, and without her who always had that sarcastic smile.

It was very hard to adjust, it was hard to move on. But as time went by, we got used to it. Not because we want to but because we have to. It is as if she were telling us to keep going in life without her, motivating us to keep on pursuing our goals for her and making us feel that she was beyond happy for us.

It may be hard to do it this way, but we always go to her graveyard every time we accomplish something, for her to be proud of us. Every time we had free time, we would always spend it with her, talking and updating about life because we knew that she was just there, listening to us. This became our routine, making our bond grow stronger again after its biggest downfall.

One year passed and everything was in place but never went back to normal. Life is still going on for the three of us, always fighting and always striving. We might not know how we get through that strong disaster in our lives but we never forget to be grateful for where life took us. We realized a lot of things and we've learned from it, preparing ourselves for what more destiny could offer.