Stuck In Harm's Way: Unraveling The Mystery Of Why We Stay

The "We"in the title include all those who have been in a relationship where they were taken for granted, or not good enough for their mental health, most especially relationships where they can't just get out of but can't get rid of what is hurting them. And most of us have been in such a relationship in one way or the other but it differ in level of harm or what one could bear.

Why I say we bear is because some of these toxic relationships can actually come from the people we love like our parents, siblings, close and far relatives who are dear to us. Because of this, we tend to stay rather than break ourselves from the harms that may come or have even come. Is this okay? I'll share a story to express my thought about this.

A couple living in a big house as the husband was wealthy and had influence in the neighborhood and beyond, people were envious of them and how they act in public. Well, this was until sometime later when people found out the man uses his wife as a punching bag whenever he felt like it. Concerning neighbours reached out to her and her response was "He was never like this, he'd only use his words and not his hands".

It happened that the woman was once an amazing barrister but had to quit and remain at home because her husband says so. He would control her every move and get her punished like a child whenever she did something wrong. The lady who we heard her parents were like that growing up, didn't see anything wrong with bearing up to the situation she is faced with. The words of the neighbors didn't get through and she continued being patient with her husband until she died by his hands.

It's mostly the outcome, death or at bare minimum, injuries that will remain as a mark for the whole of their lives. Everyone deserve better and I can not ever see why people choose to settle for the harm's way. Many would give the excuse of love for the person that is toxic to them and I think it's because of low self esteem or they fear that they would never find someone better, you know the "The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know".

Another reason is from the background, parents of time past have also gone through this experiences in the presence of their children making them think it is normal to bear up with hurtful and toxic people in their life, they grow up to think it is the way of the world except they are lucky to find the good ones for themselves. Sadly, some even choose only relationships that are toxic to them.

In my opinion, no one should settle for a toxic relationship. If you can speak up and change the situation for the better, do that but if you can't, go your way. Staying in harm's way will go no good for your mental, physical, psychological and even spiritual health. We only pray that God help us identify and get out of such relationships.