Respect Over Differences: The Key To Lasting Friendships

Friendships are beautiful but complex. Many things I know together are because of the friends I have made. Most of the good memories I have made in my life over the past decade are from good friends. Friends have pushed me to go beyond my limits. Just when I was about to give up on my goals, friends encouraged me to carry on. When I needed advice or someone to talk to, they lent me listening ears. When I was weak and needed a shoulder to lean on, they offered theirs. That is why I stated that friendships are beautiful. On the other hand, they are complex. Some of the betrayals I have experienced over the decade are also from friends, people I held dear to my heart. Maybe they weren’t my friends to start with or maybe it was just me who considered them my friends, but they made me realize how complex friendships can be.

Over the past 4 to 5 years, I have realized that some people become friends with you because of what you have to offer. And once that thing is gone, they go away. For example, wanting to be friends with someone because they are smart and intelligent is totally fine. It means you want to learn from them and if you also have something to offer, they will also learn from you. However, it is sad that some friends leave once you are no longer useful to them. In school, I had a lot of friends. One reason why they stuck with me was because they needed my help during exams. Once exams were done, they would go their separate ways until the next semester’s exams. This is one of the complex things that make friendships not last long. But the most complex of them all is beliefs and ideals.

As humans, we all have different opinions when it comes to certain subjects. Sometimes, we might want to prove that we are right and make the other person know that they are wrong. And this can cause heavy damage to the friendship. This brings me to today’s Hive Learners’ prompt: FRIENDSHIPS. Can you end a relationship simply because of a difference of beliefs and ideals? How can you manage a friendship when you guys have different opinions and ideas?

I used to be the kind of friend who liked to argue and pass my point across. I have read numerous books and that kind of gives me the advantage over other people. In 2020, during the Covid-19 lockdown, I spent the whole break equipping myself with knowledge from different fields; from politics, to Greek mythology, religion and other areas. So whenever an argument popped up between my friends and I and I knew I was knowledgeable in that area, I was always quick to jump in and prove them wrong. And trust me, I’d always win. But at what cost? One of my friends opened up to me one day and called me “Mr Right.” They said I always argue and try to prove everyone wrong, and they were totally right.

Over the years, I have realized something; don’t always try to prove people wrong or force your ideas on friends. Don’t get into heated arguments with friends simply because you have different opinions. There are better ways to do this. Instead of trying to prove your point, respect the other party. Acknowledge their ideas and opinions first before you share yours. Don’t totally write them off. Back then, whenever I got into heated arguments with this particular friend, I would say “how does this even make sense to you. You are saying rubbish.” Which was totally wrong of me. But I know better now. Even if the other person has the most unwise opinion, I would hear from them first, then process it well.

There’s no way we will not have different ideas and opinions. However, we should learn to put mutual respect first. Respect your friends enough to not make them feel silly for having different opinions.

I still have a lot of things to work on. One thing about me is that if I’m right about a certain subject, it takes a lot to convince me. However, this doesn’t mean that I will not still accept your opinions and learn from you.

Thanks for reading.

Image is AI generated.