Used Like an ATM, Forgotten Like a Stranger

Certain times, while crying in the dark room, I remembered my father's words, who advised me not to compromise on self-respect. The person who has been used like an ATM machine must be accepted if he wants to make his own life decisions. Why is he treated as an odd man out when he takes favors according to his own will? But why do we all throw his goodness in the garbage while preferring others over him just because he has changed now? Why do we allow others to insult or humiliate him when he was once loved? Is he not a normal human being now? We think that he was a routine person, but now, when he raises the flag of freedom, he becomes a red flag for us. But why do we allow others to thrust him into toxicity when we have already taken enough revenge from him?

I have had these thoughts, but the story of Asad changed my thoughts—the guy who sacrificed his life and got paid back in the form of death. According to him, the compromises he made on his self-respect were responsible for all this. He thought he could change the psyche of people with his goodness and didn’t become the villain of the joint family drama system. But his own loved ones took everything from him—his love, his happiness, and his life too. It’s a true story, but the names of people have been changed for privacy purposes.

Real-life story:

It’s the story of my beloved friend Asad, who migrated to another city because of marriage and a job. He told me about the sufferings he was facing in his relationship. Asad married the girl of his parents’ choice, while his brother married the love of his life. Both brothers had a lot of personality differences—Ubaid being the chirping bird, and Asad, a silent guy who hesitated to express his emotions. Asad attempted once—not because of work or job—but because his family compelled him to do so. They told him to leave his wife; otherwise, he would have to leave the house, as they were not able to tolerate Shibra.

The gentleman didn’t want to hurt his family and insisted on sending Shibra to her mother’s house. But he felt it was the toxic attitude of his family, who were taking full maid work from her and killing her with their taunts too. He gave all his salary to the family and got nothing in the name of his wife’s welfare. Shibra remained a kind-hearted lady who adjusted to the new family and penetrated his heart, even though it was an arranged marriage.

The events in both lives can be related to many families who spend all their lives supporting their favorite son while disliking the daughter-in-law who married the less favored one. Shibra said goodbye to her job and started managing the home, making everyone comfortable. Ubaid’s wife, on the other hand, said goodbye to her in-laws when she got pregnant, as she wanted to spend this time away from toxicity and tension. Shibra, however, managed her maternity visits on her own, as no one was interested in her or willing to listen to her at any cost.

It was the time when Asad instructed her to do the same as the other party had done, but she refused to compromise on the dignity of her home. She didn’t want others to talk about her as someone who had left the family. This “odd man out” person significantly contributed to spreading joy and managing all the home events in a decent manner. Asad gave her credit for keeping him away from tension, no matter how much it affected her.

Tables turned when Ubaid’s family came back, and suddenly the attitude at home changed. Those who were once few in number to talk against Shibra became many. Asad wasn’t able to handle the broken version of Shibra, who was insulted every day for nothing. Things got so bad that the whole family teamed up to take meaningless revenge on Shibra just because she was different—sensible yet innocent. They brainwashed Asad so much that he started smoking to relax.

Shibra requested him to change his behavior and habits, as it was affecting their daughter too. But instead, he started fighting with her for no reason. She remained silent to stop the conflict, knowing how sharp his enemies were in spoiling him. Asad, on the other hand, took her silence as a sign of guilt and started believing she was wrong in all cases. He stopped investing love in Shibra and joined his family in sparking the fire against her.

She, the lady of wisdom, saw the game being played in the enemies’ court and tried to clean the mess for the last time, but all in vain. No one was willing to listen to her—not even Asad, whose manipulative attitude hurt her the most. The man for whom she had tolerated everything was not on her side when she needed him most. She left the home silently when it became clear she was a burden for all of them.

Within a month, Asad realized his mistake, but it was too late—the doors were not going to open for him again. Thinking about his wife’s sacrifices and his cruel payback, he ended his life. He met me four days before his death, in tears, remembering Shibra. He didn’t have the courage to contact her. It’s hard for me to write more about that happy couple who were destroyed by wolves of manipulation, backbiting, misunderstanding, and lack of trust. It was a huge loss for Shibra and their daughter. One must ask Asad’s family if their revenge was worth the life of their own son. Why do humans become so insane that they take others’ lives just to satisfy their meaningless aims?

Conclusive thought:

While trying to make others’ lives hell, remember that in this world, what you sow will be reaped by you too. So instead of making others’ lives miserable, remember that one day you will face a similar test. And when it comes to marriages, don’t forget that this same evil play might be repeated with your daughter too. To all those joint families torturing in the same way, don’t forget that you are taking revenge on your own blood.

Men must not be trapped as the middle ground between mother and wife. They can’t pass such judgments, so instead of making his life hell, either accept her or allow them to live their own life. Asad was a card that was played very well, and when he opened his eyes and arms according to his will, he was punished.