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Brother, honestly, reading this brought that night back to my mind. I have always believed that sometimes a person just needs someone who listens and gives them the right words at the right time. If our conversation helped you come out of that darkness and gave you a new direction, then your story is itself a living example of what I wrote in this post. May you always keep moving forward.
Maybe that's why I can live in peace now, go out, have fun. It's exactly like when we need someone to listen to us, it gives us a lot of comfort.