My Holiday Season Plans Have Changed — And It Hurts__#236(episode 2)

If you asked me 3 years ago what I was looking forward to during holiday season, I would have shouted "Detty December! Party! Clothes! Show!"

But now, as the holidays are fast approaching this year, what I am looking forward to is completely different.

What I am looking forward to now is peace.

I am looking forward to sleeping without alarm. For the whole of 2026, I have been waking up 5am everyday to go to work, to face boss, to face customers, to face Lagos traffic. I am tired. The only thing I want for this holiday is to wake up 10am, roll on my bed, and nobody will shout "you are late!"

The second thing I am looking forward to is to sit and eat my mother's food again. Not the fast food I eat in the city every day. Real food. That soup that she will use her hand to make, that rice that will have smoke smell. I have not eaten with my family on same table since last Christmas. I miss how we all used to fight for the last piece of meat and my mother will divide it into 4 with knife. I miss that noise.

The third thing I am looking forward to is to just be a child again for few days. To drop this adulthood. To not think about rent, to not think about NEPA bill, to not think about who I am owing. To just be in my father's house where I am not landlord, I am just "last born" and I can be lazy small.

But will I be able to enjoy it fully?

Honestly, I don't think so this year. And it is painful to say.

The situation of things will not allow me.

First, money. Transport fare from Lagos to Anambra now is like buying a small phone. I checked yesterday, one bus is 35k one way. Going and coming back is 70k, before I even buy anything for my mother. Where will I see that kind of money? My salary has not increased but everything has increased.

Second, my family situation. My elder brother who used to sponsor Christmas is not in the country anymore, and my father is sick. So now the responsibility is on me. And I am not ready. I am still struggling myself.

So as everyone is posting "Holiday season loading", I am just here calculating and getting headache.

I might end up spending this Christmas in this small self-contain in the city, alone.......... Just me, my small Christmas light, my phone, and video call to my family in the village.___I will cook small jollof, open wine alone, and pretend I am happy.

It is not what I want,___but it is what the situatioon has given me.

But I have told myself, even if I am alone in the cityy, I will still make it feeel like holidaay. I will clean my house, I will buy small decorations, I will call my mother for long time, I will pray and thank God that I am alive and healthy. Many people wanted to see this December but they are not here.

So maybe enjoyment is not only about traveling. Maybe enjoyment this year is just about being alive and having peace of mind.

To everyone who will not be able to travel home this year because of money or work — you are not alone. We are many. Let's not be sad too much. Let's make holiday happen where we are.

What about you? Are you traveling home or you will stay back like me?

IMAGE SOURCE AI